Naru Zwei
by Qrious writ3r
Summary: 'Don't play with seals' she says, 'Don't make seals while daydreaming' she says, 'I'm an idiot' she says. Well here I am now in a different dimension, and I'm a Corgi. Oh well, at least I'm not immortal anymore. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: 'Ello! And as I've promised a Naru!Zwei story. Now before you read, if some of you have noticed on my other work I may not make the best jokes, well sorry for that, and for what may be another line of bad jokes you might read. But anyways this fic, unlike the other one, will be more lighthearted. Like RWBY chibi lighthearted, it will have it's serious moment and a good plot so it's not just a fic that's 'whatever'.**

 **Well, shouldn't keep you folks any longer, hope you guys like it!**

* * *

Remnant, a world full of danger and legends forgotten. Creatures roam the land, creatures of Grimm, kill indiscriminately and without mercy. Humanity has fought the Grimm for a very long time, almost driving them to extinction.

But our story starts not with a famous Huntsman or Huntress, not at a place of great imortance nor an item belonging to some legend

No, this story starts in a wooden house in an island off of Vale, Patch, with a family of three and their pet dog. It is here that a hero world once strife with war and death find himself after an unfortunate accident. Or is it a fortunate accident, after all, his presence alone will change the fates of many.

* * *

Inside the house, the kitchen specifically, a blue-eyed blonde haired man in brown cargo shorts and a tan dress shirt thas has the right sleeve cut off. The man is currently setting up and putting food on the table, once that's done he looked at the time '7:30' and looked to his side.p

"Hey Zwei," the dog, Zwei looked to his 'owner' when his name was mentioned . Zwei is a black headed tri-colored corgi, his has gray colored eyes and a short stubby tail " can you see if Ruby is up boy?"

"Arf!"

"That's a good boy." the man rubbed Zwei's head.

On the outside Zwei was wagging his short tail with his tongue out, he just looked like a very happy dog. On the inside however " _STOP RUBBING MY HEAD OLD MAN! NOBODY RUBS NARUTO UZUMAKI'S HEAD!" 'Except maybe Ruby and Yang.'_

... You probably want an explanation correct? Well...

* * *

 _ **(FLASHBACK)**_

 _ **"If we die, your ass is mine.. all night."**_

 _ **"How shameful! Atleast do it where i can't see or hear you!"**_

 _ **"You know you want the D."**_

 _"Okay, first off, WHAT THE FUCK YOU TWO! And second, don't worry I've got this!"_

 _The white haired teen waved off the foxes concern. Said teen is wearing a long white high full lenth kimono ( **AN: to give you an idea he is wearing the same thing as Hagoromo)** the teens eyes are a cerulean blue and his long hair a slivery white. This teen is Uzumaki Naruto or Naruto Uzumaki depending on where you are. Now some of you might ask 'why the hell is his hair not blonde!?', well that is because of his tenant or to be more accurate, tenants: Kaguya Ôtsutsuki, Rabbit Goddess and mother of the Sage of Six Paths and Holo, the Ten Tailed Wolf __( **AN: due to the author being unable to get creative with this characters appearance {aka: he was too lazy}, the character will be Holo from spice and wolf {Disclaimer: I do not own Spice and wolf}).**_

 _As to how that happened. Well, during the climax of the 4th Shinobi War when Naruto and Sasuke were about to seal Kaguya in a moon in one of her dimensions. For some unknown reason something went wrong with the sealing. Instead of Kaguya being sealed in a Chibaku Tensei made moon she was instead sealed inside Naruto. The Tailed Beasts, who were within Kaguya and broke off from her when she was weakened, got caught in the sealing process and merged once again into the Ten Tails._

 _The entirety of Team 7 had an eyes wide, jaw-dropped expression at the turn of events and weren't able to utter a word the entire time. It wasn't until they were summoned back by the late Kage's that they managed to recover from the rather interesting yet concerning turn of events. Naruto was immediately upon Hagoromo and asked why the sealing had gone 'wrong' and Hagoromo told them to explain. One explanation later, Hagoromo is seen sprawled on the ground with a huge steaming lump on his head, Naruto who had a comical expression of rage with a large tick mark on his head holding out a steaming fist, everyone else huddling in a corner sweating nervously, cause everyone knows you don't mess with an angry Uzumaki, except for Minato who had a nostalgic look on his face._

 _It seemed that the technique used for the seal decides as to how or where the thing or person being sealed is sealed into depending on what the users were thinking of at the time. Naruto at the time was thinking if Kaguya really is evil as he has seen her and wanted to give her a chance to prove herself, basically giving her a second chance. Sasuke, well who knows what he was thinking at the time ( ***cough*revolution*cough*)**._

 _Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on who you asked, the seal isolated the powers and chakra of Kaguya and the Ten Tails from Naruto, only affecting his hair and his lifespan. His hair went from spiky wild blond to long silvery white, and his lifespan went from long due to Uzumaki longetivity to immortal._

 _The war ended and everything was good, peace reigned throughout the Elemental Nations, and then came the inevitable._

 _Naruto Uzumaki..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _... got bored._

 _So to alleviate his boredom Naruto, like his Godfather before him, travelled the lands and helped people when he can._

 _While working on the seals he couldn't help but think back to he first officialy met Kaguya_

* * *

 _(_ _ **FLASHBACK's Flashback)**_

 _ **(Inside Naruto's Mindscape)**_

 _'Well, it's been sometime since I was last here.' Naruto thought. The last time he ever visited his mindscape was during the war when Kurama was with, now he's in his mindscape to check up on his two new tenants. Now don't get him wrong, he did try to visit the two during these six years but their condition wouldn't allow it. Kaguya's mind was still a mess and the Ten Tails was no better. It was only recently that he felt the two calm down thus he here now in his mindscape to chech on them._

 _..._

 _The sound of his footsteps echo in his mindscape. He kept on walking until he reached two sets of metal bars, one set very tall and huge the other very small compared to the first. He walked to the smallest of the two because between Kaguya and the Ten Tails, Kaguya would be much easier to deal with, at least that's what he hopes. He opens the gate on Kaguya's side. As he steps further in he felt something wrong, it's quiet, too quiet._

 _..._

 _'Well, this unexpected. Good, but again unexpected.' Naruto's face was unreadable, he couldn't decide whether to laugh, sweatdrop, or join them._

 _What was happening that was unexpected? In front of him are two women, sitting with a round table between them eyes narrowed at each other, their faces scrunched up in deep concentration. The woman on the left, Kaguya Otsutuki, is sweating profusely while glaring holes at her opponent. He blushed when he noticed said woman almost half naked... is it bad that he is getting turned on by a woman that is ages older than him?_

 _Giving Kaguya a victorious smirk, the woman on the right_ _is quite, cute, in Naruto's opinion ( **AN: please google Holo if to know what she looks like and what she is wearing, unless you've already done so).** The woman suddenly looked annoyed and felt as if someone just insulted then gained a mischievious smile when she felt Naruto in the room she and Mrs. Prude is in, she looked at Kaguya who hasn't felt Naruto nearby with how concentrated she is right now. She looked at the cards on her hand and thought how lucky -unluckily for Kaguya- it was that they chose to play strip poker at the time._

 _"Oh, Kaguya-chan!" the rabbit goddess looked at Holo with wide frantic eyes, her eerie smile didn't help settle Kaguya's nerves. But it was the cards on her hands : Royal Flush._

 _Holo started chanting "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!"._

 _Kaguya had a full body blush, taking off the rest of her clothes should be easy enough, their host doesn't even visit them so chances of anyone else but Holo seeing her in her birthday suit is none. Well except Naruto, not that she knew._

 _Naruto could only stare eyes wide and jaw on the floor at the sight he is being treated to right now..,... don't judge him, being Jiraiya's apprentice will turn even the most well mannered gentleman into a raging pervert, except him. He just appreciates the female body in all its wonder. Yep, nothing perverted about that._

 _He was cut off from his_ appreciation _when he heard a female voice in his head 'Like the show Naru-kun?' he looked around to see wgich of the two talked to him via mind-link and he saw Holo giving him a teasing smile. He smirked, then thought of a comeback._

 _'Of course, i mean its way better than looking at something small.' Holo looked like someone just slapped her, she then smile teasingly and motioned for him to look in front. Naruto turned to look at what was so- he flew towards the wall via nosebleed. The last thing he remembers is seeing something pink ,someone screaming about him taking responsiblity and someone straddling him before his vision turned dark._

 _ **(End Flashback of FLASHBACK)**_

* * *

 _ **(FLASHBACK)**_

 _He was taken from his walk down memory lane when the seals he was making started glowing, did he activate the seal while reminiscing? He was about to shrug it off when he saw something wrong with one of the seals he wrote, is that a-._

 _" **I AM SO BONING YOU!"**_

 _ **"HOOOLLLOOOO!"**_

* * *

After that he found himself turned into a puppy in the middle of a forest with Beowolves surrounding him. He would have fought back but his powers appeared to have been sealed, Kaguya and Holo were not in the seal either, the seal is intact and their power is still there but they themselves are nowhere to be found.

He was rescued by a white hooded Huntswoman, Summer Rose, who took him home with her, he met Ruby and Yang and fourteen years later here he is now trotting across the house to wake Ruby up. When he got to the front of her room the door was still closed and locked.

'Not for long.' Naruto thought with a grin. Five seconds later the screams of a girl and a loud slap is heard around the house.

...

" _Not cool."_

 _"Well, maybe you shouldn't have charged the door while I was changing you perv."_ Ruby looked at Naruto _( **AN: when Naruto is speaking with someone who knows who he is he will be called Naruto, otherwise he will be called Zwei)**_ with a twitchy eye. In case you are wondering they are communicating through telepathy, and incase you are wondering how Ruby knows who Naruto is... well it involves the bathroom, a thinking Naruto, a young Ruby and someone seeing man-meat. Why he didn't have clothes back then when he was wearing one before he became a dig, he will never know.

Naruto huffed and jumped off of the bed and wondered what was up with the packed bags and he voiced this question to Ruby.

"Huh? Didn't I tell you that I got accepted into Beacon?" oh right.

Ruby got into some trouble which ended up with her meeting the headmaster of said school and ended up getting accepted into said school. Well this sucks, he'll be stuck at home with Taiyang, no offense to the guy but he just doesn't have that magic touch that Ruby and Yang have.

Ruby noticed Naruto's ears drooping and tried to comfort the man-turned-dog as best she can. If she dould she'd bring him with her, but she doesn't know if Beacon allows students to bring any pets.

"Hey Naru."

He looked up when he heard Ruby call him by the nickname she gave him.

"Don't worry 'kay, I'll come visit from time to time."

Naruto looked to the side, he isn't overly attached to Ruby or anything but ever since a few days ago he's been getting this feeling that something bad is going to happen, and if what that old school gangster wannabe's saying is right then shit's going to hit the fan soon.

 _"Fine, kick ass while your there for me, 'kay?"_ Naruto said with a grin that made Ruby glomp him to death.

"Ohh, you're just soo cute."

" _Mmpph mpfff fmee!"_

 _'_ _Well, I guess this is I go, cuddled to death a by a cute girl... not a bad way to go. Oh, did I mention that I am not immortal anymore?'_

* * *

In an unknown place a female figure with long brown hair is looking at a crystall ball with a look of hate on her face, the image she is eeing on the crystal: Ruby hugging Naruto/Zwei.

The woman not being able to hold it in any longer screamed her head off, the only you can decipher from her was 'damned redhead', 'hussy touching MY naru-kun', 'bestiality ftw', etc.

Beside her a woman with VERY long white hair and horn like appendages on her head is looking at the ball with an unreadable expressioaaaaand blood is flowing down her nose 'Tie him up, kill her, then ride him..no. Kill her then ride him, no no. How about i tie them both up the-', a jet of blood shot from nose crashing her into a dark red dust crystal.

These two are Naruto's -questionable if they are still- tenants, Holo the Ten Tailed Wolf and Kaguya Otsutsuki the Rabbit Goddess.

A few feet away from them another woman with white hair that is styled into a bun with six offshoots, she is Salem... just Salem. She is rubbing her forehead in exasperation at the two beings in front of her. When they first appeared fourteen years ago the two were quite frantic trying to find someone named Naruto Uzumaki, she scoffed at the name, whoever named the boy sure had an addiction to those noodles that the dog Cinder has with her sometimes eats. What were they called again, remen? Back to the two idiots in front of her.

The two females certainly had power in spades, when she tested them for how strong they were, it resulted in a few broken bones, burnt hair, and three exhausted females. And with all that strength they contributed... nothing, well they did kill someone that Ozpin sent into her domain. As it turns out they were more interested in finding this Naruto person. And they did, and they hesittated, why? Turns out the person they killed was Summer Rose, and Naruto from what they saw was very happy living with her family and her even if he is a dog right now, and her death affected him badly. But it didn't stop them from spying on him, especially when on the rare occasion he'd be human gain and bathe. She shook her at the two and gave a deep, deep sigh.

She looked at the si- is she...

"Why oh why, did you put those two with me?" Salem's face looked very annoyed as she stared at the author besid-

"OH great now I'M breaking the fourth wall!... I think?"

"Ahem."

"Oh right, uhhm, uhhh... just because?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Just continue..." she really just wanted to get this over with.

Salem moved away from the two and started to think about the plan. The plan that will bring- " **OH, SHUT IT KAGUYA YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS I AM!"-** that will - **"I RESENT THAT YOU BRUTE!"-** that - **"OH JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BIGGER GUNS THAN ME MAKE ME LESS OF A WOMAN!? IS THAT IT!? WELL LET ME TELL YOU-"** \- thatwillbringhumanitytoitskneesinsertevillaughOzpinandhisocalledguardianwillfall. " **IT'S ALL ABOUT THE TECHNIQUE SISTER, TECHNIQUE!"**

 **...**

 **...**

Maybe Cinder will lend her her if she asked.

* * *

Omake: Dog Therapy

 _Patient: Roman Torchwick_

 _Occupation: Criminal_

 _Problem: Bossy Boss_

Sitting or rather laying on his back on the therapy chair is a man with orange hair, is wearing a white suit and a bowler hat is renowned criminal Roman Torchwick, sitting on a chair beside is Zwei/Naruto who is wearing glasses and holding a notepad.

"- I mean she's just SO irritating, who does she think she is anyway? She just shows up in the middle of nowhere acting all smug and mighty and she has the nerve to make me, ME, try and submit to HER! OF ALL THE-"

"Arf!" Roman looked at Zwei sharply

"Well yes I am working for her rigth now, not like I had choice" Roman said looking away.

"Bow?" Zwei barked tilting his head.

"I guess she does get the job done and gets me out of the slammer when I get caught."

"Arf!"

"All right, all right, I'll atleast tolerate her no need to get snippy with me you mutt!"

Zwei jumped Roman and started scratching and biting while Roman tried getting him off to no success.

And another job well done.

* * *

 **AN: ... just give it to me straight if you thought it was horrible, 'kay?**

 **So if anyone's wondering if this will have a pairing, yes, but i'm leaning more towards either Ruby, Blake or Velvet. Maybe Winter? I don't know, I can't even decide if I'm gonna do the same thing did as the other fic and just make it harem but, meh. Unlike ROAF i'm just gonna let story decide, if not i'll let you guys know and there will be a poll.**

 **And speaking of polls, if there are ROAF (remnants of an age forgotten in case you don't know)readers here, on the release of the next chapter the pairing poll will be closed and someone will be taken out because the way I'm writing it she might get paired with him regardless.**

 **And that's all, please review, fave or follow. This is Qrious signing out.**


	2. Chp 2 Escape, Junior, Dog meets Cat

**Sorry that this is quite short but i promise you next chapter will be much longer. And again I'm sorry if my humor and the jokes are bad -better get used to this apology since you'll be seeing it quite often-. I won't keep you guys here for long, so enjoy.**

* * *

 _Last time_

" _STOP RUBBING MY HEAD OLD MAN! NOBODY RUBS NARUTO UZUMAKI'S HEAD!" 'Except maybe Ruby and Yang.'_

 _..._

 _"TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!"._

 _..._

 _"Well, maybe you shouldn't have charged the door while I was changing you perv."_

 _..._

 _"_ _ **IT'S ALL ABOUT THE TECHNIQUE SISTER, TECHNIQUE!"**_

* * *

 _ **'**_ _Bored..'_

The Rose household...or is it Xiao Long household? The Rose household is drearily quite, Ruby has already left for the airship heading to Beacon and Yang was already there since she was attending Beacon in the first place, Naruto and Taiyang are the only people left inside the house. Well Naruto is, Taiyang is off at Signal Academy teaching. Leaving Naruto alone and bored.

" _AAAHHH, I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"_ Naruto shouted.. or barked in irritation. The dullness of life getting to him.

" _I'm not staying here if 'boring' is gonna be on the menu all day, Naruto is out! Peace!"_ Naruto left behind a letter or a atleast a poor attempt at a letter then he got out of the house. Through a closed window.

...

...

Did I mention the room he was in looked like someone tried to rob the place?

Anyway Naruto ran all the way to the nearest port, Patch Port. Once there he hid behind one the crates lying around and spotted a ship just about to leave. He cannot be seen by anyone, he is quite well known here in Patch due his, in Yang's words "immeasurably, unmatched cuteness", so if someone sees him they'll immediately notify Taiyang the he's not at the house. And the man is relentless when chasing after him. Like the one time he ran through the women's bathroom trying to get away from him and the man surprised him by barging through the women's bathroom.

He shook his head and returned to the situation at hand. He tried to find the perfect opportunity to board the ship while keeping a lookout for the workers. _There!_ He crossed the distance between him and the ship in just the span of a few seconds. Once inside he went to the ships upper deck and tried to find someplace to lie down. The boat ride from Patch to Vale took about 3 hours. When Naruto disembarked he was all smiles and went on his merry way towards Beacon leaving a confused crew as to how they already exhausted their recently restocked supplies.

As Naruto made his way towards Beacon he remembered one crucial fact... he doesn't know where Beacon is.

 _'Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap! Uhh... where was it again!?"_ He rattled his brain trying to remember where Beacon was. That part where he remembered Taiyang chasing him even through the girls locker room? That chase got him from Patch all the way to Beacon where he got caught by a blonde haired female professor, which was strange since he never remembered crossing the sea between Patch and Vale.

A hypothetical light bulb lit up in his head. ' _If I don't know/remember where Beacon is why don't I just ask someone who does?'._ When Yang was finding clues about her mothers whereabouts last time she went to an information broker at a club somewhere in Vale, he never heard her mention the club's name but he did hear her mention someone called 'Junior'. Only one problem: how the heck will he communicate with them if he's a dog?

Oh yeah, he forgot he could turn into a human ' _How long has it been since my last transformation?'_ The last time he did so was when he and Ruby went out for ice cream sooooo, two weeks ago. He went to a nearby alley and concentrated, a few moments later the alley was engulfed in smoke and a silhouette of a young man could be seen through the smoke.

"Ahhh, I really need to find a way to increase the limit on the number of times I can stay a human." the young man said in Naruto's voice. The smoke cleared and revealed the young mans features. Unkempt blonde hair, blue eyes, three whisker marks on each cheek, yellow furred dog ears and tail that slowly turns gray at the tips and he is wearing a blue and orange shirt and black pants( **AN: i'm not the best at fashion so this is the best i could do** ). This is Naruto's human form, a form he can only use twice a month once every two weeks.

"Yosh! Now to find Junior!" he turned around with a smile, put his left feet forward then freezed.

Where was Junior's club again?

* * *

( _A few hours later)_

 _(Beacon Academy Ballroom)_

It is now nighttime and the moon is hanging high into the night sky. The people that arrived earlier in Beacon are currently in Beacon's Ballroom enjoying their slumber in preparation for the coming initiation tomorrow. Or they would've if it wasn't for a certain blonde haired girl screaming.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ZWEI'S GONE!?" red eyes stared at the scroll in her hand, her blonde hair floating ominously behind her. This is Yang Xiao Long, Ruby Rose's older sister.

Said girl is rubbing her head in annoyance, truth be told she really should've seen this coming. Naruto isn't known for his patience or staying in one place for long. She really isn't even if he somehow found himself mugged or something, she'd be more worried about the mugger since Naruto is a monster when it comes to fights. The last person that tried to do was two weeks ago when they went out for ice cream, that person is still in the hospital.

When she heard a beep and a few sighs of relief, she turned to look at her sister whose eyes were now lilac, she heard Yang mutter "When I find whoever dog-napped Zwei they're gonna wish they didn't."

"You really shouldn't worry about Zwei too much Yang, he's a smart dog. Dad's probably just exaggerating, Zwei probably made a mess of the house before leaving." Ruby confidently reassured Yang because she knows THAT is exactly what happened.

Yang took a deep breath and calmed herself. She knows that Ruby is most likely right since that does sound like what Zwei would do but she couldn't help it. Like her dad and dear baby sister, Zwei had always been there for her when she needed a companion, if anything happened to him-.

She shook her and banished away all bad thoughts, if anything Zwei might be strolling around Vale right now getting some poor schmuck to buy him his favorite treat.

* * *

"What i'l do do to eat some ramen right now!"

Naruto is currently dragging himself on the ground. The last few hours have been hell on him in his quest to find Junior's club, 12 of the clubs he's been in so far have been the wrong one and he asked them directions's on where Junior's club was, why he didn't just ask where Beacon was instead is because he felt that a top quality school's whereabouts is top quality information thus is only available to people who are top quality information broker. That and he was too hungry to really care to ask.

Right now he is outside another building the previous club he visited said was the site of Junior's club. He hopes it is because if it isn't he might just go on a rampage and destroy the club.

When he went inside the sound of loud music immediately assaulted his ears and he winced at how load it was. He walked towards the bar where Junior would most likely be and ordered a strawberry sunrise, he was curious as to how it tasted since Yang was a fan of the stuff.

"Aren't you a little too young to be in a club or drinking for that matter?"

Naruto looked at the person beside him with a twitchy smile. Oh if only he knew how old he is.

"Yes, but that wasn't my real purpose for being here."

The bearded man nodded in understanding, if you weren't here for a drink or a good time you were here for information. Unless you're a cop in which case you're not welcome.

"So, what do you want to know?"

Naruto quirked his eyebrow in realization ' _So this is Junior huh? A tall man in a gangster suit named Junior, whoever named him really liked those gangster movies.'_ "I'm looking for a certain place, Beacon to be exact. You know where it is?"

Junior looked at Naruto like he was on drugs right now. Did he not see the large building on the cliffs or more importantly how the hell can you know Beacon but not know where Beacon is?! He said as much to Naruto and the results were not pleasant. For him.

Naruto's eyes are shadowed by his hair and his body is shaking uncontrollably and when he spoke he did so in an emotionless tone "So let me get this straight. I walked all over Vale today, almost got molested and arrested for no reason at all and I come here and find out that Beacon was practically looking me right at the face?!"

"Yes."

And all hell broke loose inside Juinior's club.

* * *

 _Next day_

 _Beacon Cliff_

After 'thanking' Junior for his services a happy Naruto skipped out of the club and towards Beacon. The trip took longer than expected since there were no ships that were heading towards Beacon thus he had to swim the entire way. The swim was quite refreshing if it wasn't for the aquatic Grimm that tried to make a meal out of him every chance they get, he turned back into a dog at this time.

Then he had to climb the Oumdamned cliff only to realize there were stairs when he got to the top. And when he got to the courtyard the announcement came for all initiates to head for Beacon Cliff for Initiation, which he didn't know the location of. So thinking that Emerald Forest might be the place where the Initiation takes place he headed for the nearest entry point/cliff into Emerald Forest. Thankfully he was able to sense Ruby and honed in on her signature, after a few minutes of running( **AN: can someone tell me if it's still called running when i write a dog, honestly it's been confusing me somewhat since i started Naru Zwei** ) he found out she was quite close. After getting through a bush he sees Ruby and Yang along with a few others lined up facing Emerald Forest.

He was about to call Ruby through their link when he smelled a peculiar scent. The scent made him freeze ' _This scent, its... its..'_ he slowly looked to where the scent originated and almost had to stop himself from growling. This scent ever since he became a dog always triggered a primal canine instinct in him which is to chase, what happens after the chase was a mystery to him since he always failed to catch whoever carried this scent. What is this scent you ask? Why the scent of cats of course. While there were no cats in the group of people lined up, there was a _cat_ faunus.

At this point Naruto is now reduced to his baser doggy instincts _'Look at her, standing there with her long black hair, white shirt and shorts. That black ribbon on her head and'_ Naruto licked his lips _'pale skin.'_ If he were in the right state of mind that could of been a compliment but given how he is right now, that is just plain creepy.

...

Blake Belladona as described by Naruto above is a seventeen year-old female black haired, amber eyed cat Faunus, former White Fang member and aspiring Beacon student who felt a shiver on her spine and looked around since she felt someone was watching her. Then she was launched straight to Emerald Forest.

...

When the cat faunus was launched into the air Naruto's baser doggy instincts interpreted it as letting the chase begin prompting him to run towards the cliff barking. The barking caught Ozpin, the gray-haired coffee addicted Headmaster of Beacon, Glynda, the strict assistant and Ruby's, best owner and belly rubber ever, attention.

' _FOR THE HUNT!'_ Naruto shouted into the link.

 _"_ What the- NaruTOOOOOO!?" Ruby was unceremoniously launched into the air along with another blond haired student.

Naruto stopped at the edge of the cliff barking at the cat faunus that 'got away' ' _Get back here dammit! The chase isn't over till i say its over!'._ When he felt himself getting picked up his mind clears up and he mentally blushed up a storm since he might've been eye-raping that faunus.

"Hmm.."

He was taken from his thought's when he found himself facing Ozpin who was looking at him in thought "You are, Taiyang's dog..." Naruto gave the man a bark in confirmation.

"We should contact Mr. Xiao Long then since-" Whatever Glynda was going to say dried up in her mouth when she noticed Ozpin putting Zwei on one of the launch pads. When Ozpin made his way back beside her she questioned her superior on his action.

Ozpin's answer "Anyone present at Beacon Cliff during Initiation is part of the Initiation."

Before Naruto could get off of the pad he was launched into Emerald Forest.

* * *

A certain white color-themed girl is walking towards the north of Emerald Forest. It's been a few minutes since she landed in the Grimm Infested forest and so far she hasn't encountered any Grimm. In fact it was quiet, too- "WEISS LOOK OUT!" "ACK!"

Yes, that is her name. Weiss Schnee, heiress of the Schnee Dust Mining Company and apparently now partnered with Ruby Rose.

"Thanks for catching me Weiss." Weiss ignored her in favor of her aching back.

* * *

" _Where the-"_ Naruto stood up shakily, whoever that man was he is officially on his shit-list next to Burberry, or was it Salisbury. You-know-who is at the top of his shit list.

...

Inside a nondescript warehouse a young gray haired man sneezed. Unfortunately he sneezed at the face of an amber eyed woman,

...

After a few minutes of walking he heard the familiar sound of a shotgun gauntlet firing _'Could that be..'_

He raced towards the where he heard the sound and came upon the sight of a dead Ursa and Yang. His little tail wagged in joy, finally he managed to find a family member, it wasn't Ruby but hanging out with Yang is its own reward. He was about to take a step forward when his mind suddenly glazed over when he saw the cat faunus walk out from beside the Ursa corpse.

 _'HUNT!'_

He broke into a charge straight towards the cat faunus barking getting the two's attention, then Blake's eyes widened while Yang broke into tears.

 _Blake Vision_

 _When she killed the Ursa she expected that there will be a quick respite. She expected her new partner to make a witty remark. What she didn't expect was for another monster to make itself known._

 _Spiky tricolored_ _fur that looked like it can cut. Gray eyes looking at her as if she was some sort of meat. And razor sharp teeth that could easily tear through flesh. And all of that was heading right for her._

 _Yang Vision_

 _( **recommend reading this with sad violin music)**_

 _"Zwei!" Yang dramatically called out. Zwei happily barked as if happy to see her getting her to give a teary smile. Zwei then broke into a run, running as fast as his little paws can carry him. Yang also ran towards Zwei with a teary smile on her face. When Zwei was quite close she bent down on one knee with her arms spread out to catch him when he jumps towards her and she closed her eyes in preparation. When she didn't feel the familiar weight of Zwei in her arms she opened her eyes to see that Zwei was no longer in front of her._

 _*Bark!*_

 _She turned around when she heard Zwei bark and what she saw almost broke her heart. Zwei was running towards Blake._

 _Blake._

 _Not her._

 _Why her?_

 _She is his owner, isn't she?_

 _The one that took care of him._

 _So w_ _hy?_

 _( **stop music)**_

 _Normal Vision_

While Yang is looking at Zwei with a look of betrayal on her face Blake decided that running from the 'deadly beast' is the best course of action. This made Naruto redouble his efforts in catching her though what to do after he catches her is lost to him.

Yang's snapped out of her self depression and started running after Zwei shouting thing like 'It's me!'.

* * *

 _Back at Beacon Cliff_

Glynda at her scroll looking at the footage of Blake, Zwei and Yang running through the forest chasing one another. She shook her head, out of the many strange decisions Ozpin has made this takes the cake. While she doesn't agree with his decision they should at least-

"Hello Mr. Xiao Long? Yes its me Ozpin, I would like to inform you that we have found your dog... He's doing the Initiation along with your daughters... Why no, if anything he was quite anxious, he was very eager to prove himself... I disagree, if anything this was a very responsible thing to-... He hung up."

 _Sigh._ Why did she take this job again?

* * *

Omake: Dog Therapy

 _Patient: Neopolitan_

 _Occupation: Criminal, Mascot for Salem_

 _Problem: ^_^_

*Bark!*

"O.o?"

*Whine*

"T_T"

 _Pats Neo on the back._

 _"_ :D "

*Bark!"

"^o^!"

Once again another happy patient!

* * *

 **AANNND DONE!**

 **This chapter was very irritating to make since I had to redo a few scenes due to my browser reloading quite a few times leading me to a 'confirm re submission page' and when that happens BYE-BYE work and hello re-work.**

 **Anyway again sorry if the humor was cringe-y and uh...**

 **PAIRINGS! Can't forget that!**

 **Now the pairing for this one is most probably single pairing but like someone has pointed out the way this thing might turn out it might change to multi pairing. So in short instead of being only either Ruby, Blake or Velvet. Maybe Winter? It might become all of them plus a few more. But I am adamant on making this a single pairing.**

 **Also some of you may have noticed some of the characters to be a bit OOC.**

 **So with that said I should really get some sleep now. 2 in the morning where I am. Well as always: Review, fave or follow. This Qrious signing out!**


	3. Chp 3 Chase continues, Badwitch, Roman

**Hello and welcome to a new chapter of Naru Zwei.**

 **Once again I apologize if my attempt at humor is very much cringe-worthy but I do hope you readers like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this computer I'm using.**

* * *

 _Last Time_

" _AAAHHH, I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"_

 _..._

 _"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ZWEI'S GONE!?"_

 _..._

' _FOR THE HUNT!'_

 _..._

 _"Hello Mr. Xiao Long? Yes its me Ozpin, I would like to inform you that we have found your dog... He's doing the Initiation along with your daughters... Why no, if anything he was quite anxious, he was very eager to prove himself... I disagree, if anything this was a very responsible thing to-... He hung up."_

* * *

Deep in wherever Salem was calling home the area surrounding it is in a word, a wasteland. Jagged rocks, reddish dust crystals, no signs of life as far as the eye can see and only three, depending on who you asked, beautiful women with two of them looking at a crystal ball with the last one questioning her choices in life. And if you thought the place couldn't be more of a wasteland, you are wrong. Trying to describe how much more of a wasteland a wasteland can get is tricky so it's best to say that the jagged rock turned even more jagged and one of the women is currently throwing a tantrum.

"AAAHHH!" there goes that crystal.

"DAMNIT HOLO! CALM DOWN WILL YOU!" Kaguya shouted.

"DON"T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! IT SHOULD BE MY-" "Ahem." "- OUR ASSES HE'S CHASING AFTER! I MEAN FEEL IT FOR YOURSELF!" Holo waved her ass at Salem making the woman slowly back away from her with her face scrunched up in disgust.

Kaguya meanwhile viewed her sort-of-jailer in a new ligth ' _Hmm, so he's an ass man.'_

Unable to take Holo's antics anymore Salem slammed her fist on Holo's head - HARD.

"OWIEE!" Holo fell to her and rubbed her head with teary eyes looking at Salem.

"Why *sniff*, did you hit mee~!" Salem rubbed her smoking hand and looked at Holo dryly.

"He's a dog, she's a cat... dogs chase cats."

Kaguya interjected "Do you even know what dogs do when they catch cats?"

Salem was about to answer when she realized something; what would Naruto, as a dog, do when he catches a cat. Normal dogs may maul a cat or play with them but Naruto? Salem looked at Holo and saw that even the she-wolf doesn't have an answer.

...

...

The three of them raced to the crystal ball to find out the answer.

* * *

 _Emerald Forest_

' _Hunt, hunt, hunt, hunt...'_ It was the only thing running through Naruto's doggy mind right now. It is the only thing he currently knows. So he chased and chased, the wind blowing against his fur and tongue. Though the question 'what to do with her when I catch her' still lingers in his mind.

Meanwhile Blake is running as fast as her slender legs can carry her and going as far as using her ribbon to swing herself from tree to tree to throw off the beast chasing her. While normally she wouldn't let such fear control and force her to run. Zwei is a dog and as a cat Faunus the innate fear cats have of dogs is imbedded in her.

At the back of the chase is Yang who is chasing after Zwei because of how worried and jealous she is right now. Worried because of the new that Zwei suddenly disappeared from home yesterday and jealous because instead of getting one of her Zwei-hugs he is playing a game of tag with the theiving 'cat'.

They were so into their individual chase that any Grimm that tried to get in front of them were ran over like pancakes. The chase eventually led them to the relic site but instead of stopping they kept running in circles trying to catch/ run away from the other.

"Get away from me!"

"Bark!"

"Zwei!"

It was this scene that Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie arrived to.

Ren shook his head and went towards the relics while Nora jumped of her 'ride' and joined the 'merry-go-round' and jumped onto Zwei's back prompting a yelp from Naruto, a sigh of relief from Blake and getting lifted by collar from Yang.

"The hell! Why'd you suddenly jump on top of him!?"

"..."

"Well!?"

".. Boop." Nora 'booped' Yang on the nose and making question marks appear over her head.

" _What the hell happened?"_ Naruto shook his head to get the cobwebs out of it and looked around.

Blake walked towards the relics followed by Yang but kept an eye on Zwei. When Zwei looked at her she froze as if thinking that he won't see her of she won't move. Naruto tilted his head at the black haired girls behavior " _Why is she looking at me like I'm about to eat her?"_

Naruto scratched his ear when he felt an itch. Blake meanwhile sighed in relief when the imminent danger has gone, for now. Yang picked up the white knight chess piece "Let's just get this initiation over with." Yang said irritably, today has been a rather long day in her opinion, between fighting Grimm, her sort of reunion with Zwei and the chase afterwards she wants to relax on a chair or more preferably a bed.

Ren picked up a white rook piece and it snatched immediately snatched by Nora who started singing about how she was 'Queen of the Castle~' which earned her a chop to the head.

"AAHH!" a girlish shriek resounded throughout the forest.

"Some girl is in trouble!" Nora and Yang shouted in unison.

' _I don't think/ I think that was a girl/ boy..'_ Ren, Blake and Naruto thought with a sweatdrop.

Blake, for some reason, decided to look up and her eyes widened slightly and she tapped Yang on the shoulder.

"What?" Blake pointed upwards. Yang looked at the direction Blake's finger is pointing at and her eye's widened like Blake's.

Up in the sky her sister and Weiss were riding a giant Nevermore!

...

Is her sister holding a makeshift rein?

Yang squinted her eyes to get a better look at her sister. Where is a telescope when you need one!?... Yep, Ruby's handling that Nevermore like a horse. It seems Blake saw the reins because of the bewildered expression on her face.

"I-Is your sister..."

"Yep." Yang answered dryly.

"H-How-"

"'Dunno."

Blake rubbed her forehead to stave off the coming headache, this day has been the stressful in all her life. And she thought Adam's obsession with finding the 'transforming dog' was more headache inducing.

* * *

"ACHOO!"a man with spiky red hear that has horns on his head and is also wearing a mask loudly sneezed surprising the other White Fang members with him.

"Excuse me, how long will it take again?"

One of the grunts answered " A few weeks at the most sir."

"Make it a week." the grunts saluted and set about doing their assigned task.

Adam turned around and is facing a large unfinished statue of Zwei that is still being worked on by his fellow White Fang "I'll find you soon milord, and then you'll lead us on our crusade against the humans... heh, hehehe.. MWAHAHAHA!" Adam suddenly cackled making the nearby workers make as much space as possible between them and him.

* * *

 _THUD!_

The head of the Nevermore fell from its body as Ruby slice it off as soon as they were near the ground, Weiss threw herself on the ground never happier to feel solid ground beneath her feet. Her partner is crazy, first she walks through a group of Beowolves like it's nobody's business then she lassoed a sleeping Nevermore and rode it like a pro all the while uttering some scary, forgive her language, shit about strangling a person named 'Naruto' and how she was gonna drive her scythe through his pooper... what? She's a dignified lady no way in hell is she gonna say something as vulgar as that!

Speaking of said partner, Ruby is looking at dog with a very eerie look.

Naruto is sweating hard, why? Ruby is giving him 'The Look', which is weird because he only gets that look whenever he would eat her cookie or make a mat out of her cape. He tried remembering everything he did for the last few hours but for some reason it turns up blank, as in he doesn't remember anything from a few hours ago.

 _"Naruto~"_ Naruto froze, that was WAY to sweet for his liking. and like a specter of death Ruby stood behind Naruto, her shadow looming over him.

 _"Mercy?"_ Naruto squeaked out.

Whatever Ruby was about to say was put to a halt when Pyrrha landed in front of them.

 _"Who's the redhead?"_

Ruby gained a tickmark at being interrupted as she was about to say something again through their link "HeLP mE!" a certain blond haired male shouted while holding onto the Deathstalker's tail for dear life.

"Hold on Jaune-" as Pyrrha stood up Ruby's scythe suddenly flew past her heading straight for the Deathstalker, its blade lodging itself clean through its head killing it instantly. Pyrrha looked at Ruby, who is still in a throwing position, in awe. Killing a Deathstalker normally takes a LOT of effort but this girl killed on in one attack. Naruto paled even more since he knows Ruby is most likely pissed right now and climbed up the person nearest to him which was unfortunately Blake.

Blake is as stiff as board right now, one second she's staring at Ruby's one-hit kill then the next thing she knows she is holding Zwei in her arms. She warily glances at the dog in her hand and her gaze stayed there when Zwei looked at her which made her even more scared.

 _Blake Vision_

 _She is shaking so hard right now, she has never been more afraid in her life right now, her life is in this- this BEASTS hand right now!_

 _As if hearing her thought the gray furred devil looked at her with ominous eyes and a bloodcurdling grin then it spoke in a demonic voice " **Don't drop me now."**_

 _Blake Vision End_

Blake silently whimpered and nodded making sure that the others didn't notice except Yang, however, what she saw is quite different.

 _Yang Vision_

 _"Aww, who's good dog? You are, oh yes you are!~"_

 _"Bark!"_

 _It was a very beautiful and heartwarming scene, Blake is making cutesy faces at Zwei while Zwei is barking happily at her and licking her face. Blake laughed and wiped the saliva of her face and hugged Zwei close to her face then out of nowhere flowers started sprouting all around them._

 _Yang Vision End_

The rest of the teens at the temple, including a now freed Jaune, sweatdropped at Yang who is picking at the ground with a raincloud over her head muttering about 'how unfair life is'.

Their were a number of thoughts running around everyone's minds right now but Weiss summed it up in a few words "Today's a very weird day."

" _RAAGGH! #$% &% $^&$!_"

"Did you guys hear that?" Jaune asked and the others shook his head making him confused, he swore he heard a feminine shout just now.

* * *

"Russel Thrush, Cardin Winchester, Dove Bronzewing, Sky Lark the four of you retrieved the black bishop pieces, from this day forward you will work together as Team Cardinal (CRDL), led by, Cardin Winchester." the newly appointed team made their way down as the next group, Jaune, Ren, Pyrrha and Nora made their way up the stairs.

"Jaune Arc, Lie Ren, Pyrrha Nikos, Nora Valkyrie" the four teens line up in front of the headmaster "the four of you retrieved the white rook pieces, from this day forward you will work together as Team Juniper (JNPR)" Nora hugged Ren suddenly while Pyrrha smiled and Jaune tried to look confident "led by, Jaune Arc." Pyrrha smiled for her partner while Jaune responded with a 'huh?'.

"L-led by me?"

"Congratulations young man." Ozpin tried to hide his amusement, he gives Jaune a few days.

Pyrrha lightly punched Jaune in the arm good-naturedly but even that was enough to bring Jaune down.

 _'Scratch that, make it tomorrow.'_ Ozpin thought with a sweatdrop. Team JNPR stepped of the stage and Blake, Ruby, Weiss, Yang and Zwei were up next.

"Blake Belladona, Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee Yang Xiao Long and Zwei" Ozpin looked at the four girls in front of him, Ruby's eyes are being shadowed by her hair and she seem to be saying something, what though is a mystery since she was talking so quietly, Weiss is hiding from Ruby behind Yang, Blake is still frightenedly holding Zwei who is sound asleep and Yang is eyeing Blake with both jealousy and anger while also looking at Ruby in concern "the five of you retrieved the white knight piece and because of one extra member you shall be the first five-man team in Beacon's history, from this day forward you will work together as Team Rubies (RWBYZ), led by, Zwei."

Silence encompassed the auditorium. Everyone, including the rest of the newly formed Team RWBYZ ad Glynda, looked at Opzin as if the headmaster has finally lost it.

And now for the shout of denial "WHAAAATTT!"

 _"Huh!?"_ Naruto was startled by the loud screams and woke up making Blake tense up even more than she currently is.

"Are you completely out of your mind Ozpin!?" Glynda screamed at Ozpin in bewilderment. She'll allow him letting an underage teen attend Beacon, she'll allow him to let a dog be a part of the Initiation but no way in hell is she going to allow him to make a dog team leader. It's high up there in the ladder of 'Worst decisions Ozpin has made' with 'Pool filled with coffee' at the top.

"I am completely in my mind Glynda, are you?" Ozpin fire back.

"I'm behind you Ozpin." Ozpin turned around with a finger pointed at Glynda.

"I'm completely in my mind Glynda, are you?" Glynda developed a tickmark on her head and is slowly bending her riding crop, an action which made senior Beacon students pale.

"You call making a dog, a DOG, team leader the judgement of a sound mind?" Ozpin answered her with a question.

"Glynda, what is you job here at Beacon?"

Gylnda's eye is now twitching which made the paling seniors slowly stand up "I am a professor here at Beacon and your advisor-"

"Ah pupupup, what was that last word you said?" Ozpin leaned closer to Glynda with a hand over his ear.

Glynda is grinding her teeth together, a lot of the senior students are now panicking while the freshman students were looking around in confusion.

"Advisor." Ozpin nodded and straightened himself.

"Correct and your job is to 'advise' me, I am the headmaster so I make the decisions while I take your 'advise' under consideration." Ozpin said while making air quotes everytime he said advise but what broke the camel's back was when-

 _Slap._

He slapped Glynda's butt.

 _SNAP._

 _"_ EVERYONE FUCKING RUN!" a random senior screamed and everyone in the auditorium ran out to wherever knowing that when Glynda Goodwitch turn into Glynda Badwitch you better be everywhere but where she is.

Ozpin looked at Glynda who is pulling out large slabs of stone and seats from the auditorium and uttered the final words of ever man who pissed off a female and is facing a woman's wrath "I, regret nothing."

* * *

 _Beacon Dorms_

 _Team RWBYZ room_

All of team RWBYZ is laying down on the floor their room panting hard after running away from the auditorium, doubly so for Blake since she was carrying Zwei the entire way here.

"That was crazy." Yang said between breaths.

"Here, here." Weiss agreed "I just want to sleep." Weiss went to one of the beds and unceremoniously plopped down into the bed, what? Dignified lady she may be but she's tired so to hell with being classy.

Ruby sighed and walked up to Blake and picked Zwei up earning her a look of thanks from the girl she was about to say her thanks when Ruby said this "You better be sure you wake up before Zwei." and she had a look of fear on her face once again and make Yang feel almost sorry for Blake. Almost.

Ruby walked over to one of the beds and laid down while hugging Naruto close to her and making a note to have her scroll ready in the morning.

Why?

Ruby knows that whenever Naruto sees a cat he goes into what she calls 'perv predator mode' and everything that happens during is lost to Naruto. This always happens whenever he sees something even remotely related to a cat and even a person wearing a cat costume isn't safe. How does she know he chases even people wearing a cat costume? She made Yang wear one once upon a time and put her infront of Naruto. It is also worth noting that even in his human form Naruto still has that instinct to chase after a cat but is able to suppress it. And now comes the million dollar question, what dos Naruto do to cats that he manages to catch? She'll let Blake find out in the morning, now is the time for sleep but first _"No ramen for you for one whole month."_

 _"What!?"_ Naruto shouted through their link.

" _You heard what I said."_

 _"Why!"_

 _"You distracted me."_

 _"That's your reason!?"_

 _"..."_

 _"Oi! Don't you sleep on me!"_

 _"..."_

 _"Whatever, *grumbles* damn heretic to the food of the gods."_

Yang went inside the bathroom while Blake went to one of the beds while keeping an eye on Naruto, soon Yang finished in the bathroom and laid down in the last bed and soon the entirety of team RWBYZ went into a well earned sleep.

* * *

 _Timeskip to morning_

 _With Salem, Kaguya and Holo_

It's been a good eight hours since team RWBYZ went to sleep and Salem and Kaguya thought the same, not that they needed sleep mind you, they only do so since it helps freshen up the mind. But Holo stayed up the entire night watching Team RWBYZ in their sleep through the crystal ball like a stalker, she had a gut feeling that if she stayed up she would learn the answer as to how to get Naruto to pork her. And so she stayed up for the last eight hours waiting, watching and just as she was just about to give up something happened and her eyes were glued to the crystal ball.

...

"Why is that girl bringing out her scroll?"

...

"Is he-*SPURT*" Holo got blown back via large nosebleed and crashed into the ground, just before she went unconscious she made a mental note to procure fake cat ears and tail. The crash managed to wake up Kaguya and Salem who saw Holo sprawled out on the ground with a goofy smile on her face. Curious as to what made her like that the two looked at the crystal ball and Kaguya ended up like Holo once she saw what was on the crystal ball and Salem tried to keep a straight face while trying and failing to fight down a blush. Oh look, the cat faunus is waking up.

* * *

 _Beacon Dorms_

 _Team RWBYZ Room_

 _"KYAAA!"_

"Woa-" Yang fell off her bed when Blake screamed all of a sudden while Weiss buried her head underneath the pillow hoping to it would keep the noise out.

Yang groaned and slowly stood up while rubbing her head to make the pain go away "Okay, who had an orgasm?"

"Yang!" Ruby screamed at Yang while blushing.

Yang stuck out her tongue at Ruby and turned to look at the source of the scream and was torn between 'jealousy' and 'laughter' though she questioned the jealous part.

"Don't just stand there get him off!" Blake cried out.

Weiss having just about enough of all the shouting was about to tell them off the what she was about to say dried in her throat when she looked at Blake or rather what Zwei is doing to Blake's leg, she looked at Yang and asked "Is your dog-"

"Humping Blake's leg? Yep."

 _"WOOHOOO! OH YEAH BABY!"_

* * *

 _Random warehouse in Vale_

Hunched over a table with a map of Vale that has a few places crossed out stood a man wearing a white suit, black pants and a bowler hat. This is renowned criminal Roman Torchwick. He is currently looking over a paper laid out the table, he sighed and pinned the paper over the map of Vale. He closed his eyes and lit a cigarette while a White Fang grunt came in pushing a dolly with multiple crates.

Roman procured five different colored credit cards and give them to the grunt who stowed it in his pocket "Open it."

The grunt did so and opened the crate revealing many different colored Dust crystals. He took a blue Dust crystal and looked it over before looking at the ware house filled to the brim with similar looking crates "We're gonna need more men." Roman looked back at the paper he put on the map. The paper is actually a 'Missing' poster with a badly drawn picture of what appears to be Naruto as Zwei with the name 'Killjoy' below the drawing. The last thought on Roman's mind before he went back to his assigned work is ' _Who knew Cinder could draw so badly.."_

* * *

 **DOOOONNNNEEE! Sorry this took so long, I had to do a couple of revisions to make sure it's as funny as the last chapter without sacrificing story content and I was forced to redo the chapter multiple times due to accidentally clicking 'back' thus wasting a lot of work and time.**

 **I was actually quite surprised at the reception the last chapter received. Although I'm not really optimistic about it since comedy isn't my forte and I'm liable to muck it up someday. But still, like I said earlier I hope you find this chapter satisfying, if not then I understand.**

 **Next update might be another chapter for ROAAF or Naruto in an all girls school (which is way overdue for an update).**

 **As always let me know what you think with a review, fave or follow. This is Qrious, signing out.**


	4. Chp 4 Camera, Coco and Dorm mother

**Hey guys Qrious here with another chapter of Naru Zwei.**

 **Sorry for the late update but on top of fighting off laziness I had a few pc problems.**

 **I'm actually very nervous about this chapter and not because of the comedy... I'm always nervous about that. No, what I'm nervous about is that some parts of this may have been rushed and certain things revealed too early but I'll let you guys decide if some things were released too early or not.**

 **A certain character from a certain anime will also make her appearance in this chapter, here's a hint: she uses a sword. Yep, that's not vague now is it?**

 **Well hope you guys like this one cause like i said i am very unsure about this one.**

* * *

 _"DAMNIT HOLO! CALM DOWN WILL YOU!"_

 _..._

 _"The hell! Why'd you suddenly jump on top of him!?"_

 _..._

 _Who's the redhead?"_

 _..._

 _"Aww, who's good dog? You are, oh yes you are!~"_

 _..._

 _"from this day forward you will work together as Team Rubies (RWBYZ), led by, Zwei."_

 _..._

 _"You call making a dog, a DOG, team leader the judgement of a sound mind?"_

 _..._

 _"_ _EVERYONE FUCKING RUN!"_

 _..._

 _'Who knew Cinder could draw so badly..'_

* * *

After Yang pulled Zwei off Blake, much to her joy and confusing disappointment, the disguised Cat Faunus high-tailed it to the bathroom and took a 15 minute bath much to Weiss dismay.

Yang looked at her sister with an impish smile who was messing on her Scroll watching her recording of Naruto humping Blake's leg "Please tell me you got the whole thing."

Ruby tossed her scroll at her sister and gave her the same smile "That and more." Yang watched the recording to find out what her sister was talking about and found herself blushing, turns out Blake talks in her sleep and boy what she said is very kinky. And it seems the center of her dreams is Zwei-...wait, Zwei is a dog so does that mean-.

Yang's face turned green at the thought ' _Blake is into bestiality, towards our dog!?'_ Ruby fell of her bed laughing while clutching her stomach, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what her sister is thinking that Blake is into bestiality. Though she is right in being that Blake is having a very naughty dream about a master-slave relationship between her Naruto. She figures that Blake must read smut stories.

Meanwhile Weiss face had a scandalized expression on it. If her team couldn't get any more weird with a dog as their leader now she finds out that one her team members is in to bestiality? While repulsive to know she can turn a blind eye to it, so long as Blake doesn't involve her in such depraving acts.

Half an hour later everyone is now cleaned, in their uniform and even Naruto has his own custom-made dog version of Beacon's uniform, which is kind of creepy since it now seems like Ozpin had every intention of putting him in Beacon, though why is the answer. Why does it feel like someone's watching him?

...

On the tippy-top of Beacon Tower inside the Headmasters Office Ozpin, who is in a full-body cast, is behind his desk sitting/standing. The cast only has holes for his eyes, nose, ears and mouth, a mounted cup holder is attached to his neck so he could still enjoy his cup of coffee. He picked up his scroll, how is a mystery but he is Ozpin, and watched what is going on in Team RWBYZ room via hidden camera. Now he knows that what he's doing is wrong on so many levels and not to mention if SHE finds out about it an irate Glynda will be the least of his problems but Tai's pet dog has been a large bundle of mystery ever since he's laid eyes on the pooch. One such mystery is when one time he saw Ruby enter an alleyway with Zwei and come out a few seconds later with an unknown blond that Ruby seems to always spend a lot of time with. Of course he's let Taiyang know about the situation but the man would always run off everytime he got to this part of the sentence 'your daughter is with a young man'.

He's been spending an immoral amount of resources and a lot of phone calls to Taiyang just to know the mystery behind Zwei- Oh look, he's looking straight at the camera ' _Shit!'_ And Ozpin awkwardly ran as fast as he can to the dorms before Zwei gets Team RWBYZ attention and bring the camera to the dorm mothers attention.

...

"Someone's gonna pay, I don't know who but someone will pay." Weiss is holding in her hand a small camera, Opzin's hidden camera to be exact, with a scowl on her face. She found the camera when she noticed Zwei looking at shelves for quite some time when she asked her new team if they knew about this they all answered no.

"Don't know what's the big deal, it might've been here even before we got here." Yang comforted, atleast she she did, Weiss only to backfire with what came out of her sisters mouth.

"It's still recording..."

"That's it, I'm taking this to the Headmaster!" Weiss stomped towards the door.

"Wait, at least leave Zwei!" Yang followed the heiress who apparently picked up Zwei, when Weiss got out of the room she noticed a large potted plant that wasn't there the night before. She stared, and then then Yang came and she also stared at the plant, after a few more minutes of plant staring Yang picked it up and it revealed a girl hiding underneath the plant which is both amazing and weird.

"Hey there." Yang and Weiss looked at each other with raised eyebrows then back the girl. The girl is wearing the women's version of Beacon's uniform and a brown beret and black glasses, she has dark brown hair with with a lock of it dyed a caramel color.

"Uh, hey..."

"Yo."

"Bark."

The girl stood up and stretched her body, a few pops were heard and she straightened up while looking around both side of the hallway, she stepped closer towards Yang and Weiss with the latter backing away slowly and whispered "Is it safe?"

"Huh?" Yang and Weiss said in unison.

"Did the safety alarm go off?"

"What safety alarm?" came the voice of Blake who stepped out the room followed by Ruby, both of whom are now wearing their uniforms.

The girl looked at them as if they just born yesterday when she came to a realization "Are the four of you - _Bark!-_ sorry, five of you new here at Beacon." The four girls all nodded their heads, Naruto's been at Beacon before he's never heard of anything about a safety alarm.

"I see, well to start things of the name's Coco, Coco Adel, I'm a second year student here at Beacon. Now, the four of you remember what happened yesterday?" the now named Coco asked team RWBYZ, all of them nodded with a shiver. Who wouldn't forget it? If Professor Goodwitch blowing a fuse didn't get you then the headmaster slapping her ass in front of everyone will.

Coco nodded and entered 'Lecture Mode' "Now as you all know Prof. Goodwitch is a very, VERY strict person, she is just and fair in her punishments and is a bit of a prude so it all balances out. But when someone does something so mind-blowingly stupid or does something similar to what Ozpin did yesterday she enters a phase that we all call * _cue lightning*_ the 'Badwitch' phase." Coco ended dramatically with the teens wondering where the lightning came from. Blake asked what they were all thinking.

"'Badwitch' phase?"

Coco nodded "Yep, 'Badwitch' phase, she basically becomes your and the Grimms worst fucking nightmare."

"Language!" Weiss called out.

Coco snorted "Whatever grandma."

"Hey!"

Coco ignored her and continued with her explantion "Anyway, everytime she enters this phase there is no place safe in Beacon, except for the dorms."

Zwei barked at Coco, though the others except Ruby wondered why he was barking Coco fully understood "Why because of the dorm mother of course."

It was Yang's turn to voice her teams confusion "Dorm mother?" as far as she knew the student dorms at Beacon don't have a dorm mother, a groundskeeper sure but a dorm mother?

"Yep, one of the few people in Remnant _that we know of_ that Prof. Goodwitch is more than hesitant to face off against... and is also someone that the Headmaster doesn't want to cross. According to her anyway."

As the team is taking in this new information Weiss decided to ask a question in order to confirm something, namely the hidden camera "Hey Coco," "Yeah?" "does every room in this dormitory building have camera's hidden inside them?"

Coco just looked at her with a look saying 'Why are you even asking that, of course no!' Weiss's eye twitched and she held Zwei a bit more tighter making the shinobi-turned-dog squirm in her grasp "I'm going to see the dorm mother." and she stormed off to the dorm mothers office.

The remaining members of Team RWBYZ and Coco looked at her with amused faces as she stormed off "She doesn't know where the dorm mother's office is, does she?"

Blake snorted in amusement "Of course not, all of us never even knew the student dorms had a dorm mother until now."

While Ruby thought to wait for Weiss to come back and ask for directions from Coco she felt the need to relieve Weiss of Naruto when she heard him shout out to her for help _"RUBY HELP! HER HUG IS MORE PAINFUL THAN COMFORTABLE!"_ Ruby had to bite her lips to stop herself from laughing knowing what Naruto is complaining about. She immediately followed after Weiss followed by the three remaining girls.

* * *

Meanwhile with our three favorite Immortal Trio the day is going normal for them. As normal it is for one fully perverted, one partially perverted and one closet pervert of an Immortal spends their day anyway which in this case is 'observing' one Naruto Uzumaki.

"Hmm, well this is new, considering that the last time Uzumaki-san was in Beacon we never heard any talk of there being a dorm mother in the dorms."

Holo sighed at Kaguya "Mou, Kaguya-chan when will you stop calling him Naruto-kun instead of Uzumaki-san?"

Kaguya huffed and spoke in a haughty tone "I'm a noble, a person of royal stature and he is my" "Ahem~" "Our, servant and as such I-"

"So basically you'll be forcing him into one of your master-servant fetishes?" Holo cut her off and Kaguya sputtered in denials while sporting an atomic blush.

Salem though was thinking on a different wavelength ' _Hmm, another unknown in my plans and judging by how that girl spoke highly of this 'Dorm mother' and how Ozpin and his bimbo are apparently hesitant to anger her speaks volumes of her power. I'll need to let Cinder know of this.'_ While the two Immortals are definitely a pain to live with she won't deny that them being here is such a great boon to her because their keeping an eye on this 'Naruto' gave her information on her enemies. She glanced to the two Immortals and frowned, her plans to attack Beacon and more importantly Ozpin will no doubt put the boy in danger, danger that the two will most likely use all their power to eliminate. She has long since considered killing off the two but she knew that such an action will not end well for her. She may have the home-field advantage, not to mention the uncountable Grimm that roam these lands but these two have power in spades, she'll just have to find a way to get them to her side.

Kaguya subtly looked at Salem and mentally smirked, does she think of them so lowly that they haven't already figured out what she's planning? Well they haven't but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that it has something to with Beacon's Headmaster what with the amount of negative emotions Holo's been feeling from Salem everytime she would see Ozpin through the Crystal ball. Ha! They don't care what happens to that man, they don't care what happens to humanity either. Humanity can go to hell in their opinion, after all it was because of humanity that they suffered what they did.

For Kaguya humanity turned her sons against her, Hagoromo and Hamura's love for humanity and misplaced hope that they will use Chakra fairly and justly eventually lead to it's weaponization. In truth Kaguya had been losing her faith in humanity even before she gave birth to Hagoromo and Hamura, it only grew when humanity fought war after war even after she ate the chakra fruit and tried to stop conflict after conflict. When Hagoromo told her about _Ninsh_ _ū_ and how it can be used to bring people closer together, to understand one another she didn't feel hope about this being her answer to stop war and extinguish the hatred in people hearts, instead she saw what people would eventually see, a way to kill even more people. She pleaded with her son to keep chakra to themselves not because she was selfish, but rather of the chances it could be abused. But Hagoromo wouldn't hear any of it, in his mind _Ninsh_ _ū_ will do what his mother has failed to do. Not about to take a chance she enlisted the help of Holo who at the time was still a large tree.

By the time Holo agreed to help her a large number of humans have already had access to chakra and the only solution to the problem they had then was to take away chakra by force. This decision was met with such fierce resistance from the humans and Hagoromo and Hamura who had been fed lies by the humans of rituals that she never even did and that she's been corrupted by the power she has full control over. When the day came for the two sides to face they never even gave her a chance to explain her actions, to listen, but instead they listened to those that would soon spit upon everything they stood for and attacked and sealed them both. Her into the moon and Holo got split into nine entities.

Holo, of the two of them she may have suffered the most, having to endure her consciousness split into nine separate entities and hunted down for the sole use as weapons to serve humanity and chained down like mindless animals. Her hatred for humanity far surpasses Kaguya if Shukaku's lust for blood and Kurama constantly reminding every one he's ever come across that he'll kill everyone they know and bringing wanton destruction towards everything even related to humanity is any indication. During the entire time her consciousness was split she felt everything they felt, the pain they endured and the anger that festered within them. It's actually a miracle that she never broke and turned into a mindless husk existing only to follow her orders and kill.

The only human that is okay in their books is of course Naruto. While she has nary an idea of why Holo -or maybe she does- grew to like the boy for her Naruto not sealing her in a large piece of rock certainly plays into it... and she may or may not have grown fond of him over time. And more importantly he gave her a chance to explain her actions unlike her sons.

They'll let Salem go through with her vendetta or whatever against Ozpin and the rest of humanity, so long as Naruto isn't harmed -though unlikely- she and Holo will not move against her. The majority of their powers may have stayed sealed in Naruto but they can still give Salem the fight of her life if they so wished to.

Holo pouted when she failed to get a reaction from Kaguya whose cheek she's been poking and drawing on for ten straight minutes, same could be said for Salem, and those were some very crude drawings she did on their cheeks. She noted the looks of concentration the two were sending one another then came to a realization, then a look of betrayal, then a look realization and finally a shy and embarassed look but first "HAH!" she shouted while pointing at them with a comical look of anger. The two jumped up in shock from her shout and look at her in confusion "What's the matter you perverted wolf?" asked Kaguya.

"Don't you 'what's the matter you sexy example of woman' me Kaguya! Don't think I don't know what the two of you were planning behind my back!" The two Immortals were wondering if Holo has finally lost it. Oh well, it was only a matter time anyway, insanity, the fate of every Immortal. Or endless amounts of sex.

Deciding to humor her last minutes of sanity Salem humored her by asking "And what do you think we were planning?"

Holo closed her eyes and took a deep breath, Salem and Kaguya leaned in wanting to know Holo's last words before she goes _loco_. Holo opened her eyes and gave a beaming smile and shouted for the two of them to hear "THE TWO OF YOU ARE PLANNING ON SEDUCING ME AND SANDWICHING ME BETWEEN YOUR SEXY, BODACIOUS BODS~!"

...

...

...

...

"HUUUHH!?" the two looked at Holo with wide eyes and slacked jaws. What in the name of Oum ever gave her that idea?

"Maa, don't worry I won't judge the two of you for it but I already reserved myself for Naruto-kun when he decides to ram his long-"

"All right stop, I don't need to hear about your depraved fantasies!" Salem cut of Holo before she could finish whatever was coming out of that thing she calls a mouth.

"She's right Holo."

Salem nodded "See she agrees with-"

"Besides all men lust after those of royalty, not a prude who can't even be honest with herself or someone whose chest is as big as apples."

"Excuse me!/ They're slightly large than apple!"

And so another goes day goes on with the Immortal trio.

* * *

Back with Team RWBYZ and Coco, they now find themselves in the middle area of the student dorms ( **I can't put in into words properly so just picture those square shaped buildings that have a large open area in the middle** ) in front of a classic Eastern style two level house. While the rest of Team RWBYZ were looking at the building with wonder since they have never seen this kind of design on a house, Naruto is looking at the house in nostalgia, Naruto because it reminded him of the Elemental Nations. What really drove the feeling of nostalgia home for him though was the person wearing a miko outfit sweeping the front of the house. The person has a rather slender yet shapely figure with fair skin and brown eyes. She has waist-length purple hair with shorter bangs in a hime style. Her miko outfit consists out of a purple hakama, a white haori with a sash-like belt, wooden sandals and a white ribbon to partially hold her hair in place. The entire image reminded him of the Elemental Nations, of simpler times before the war with Akatsuki, before he became immortal and before he ended up in Remnant with Ruby and her family.

It's strange actually, when he ended up in Remnant he expected himself to find his missing tenants to find a way back home, to Konoha, his friends, Tsunade, Kakashi, the Ichiraku's... his precious people. But he didn't, the thought of going back never even ran through his mind 'till now, he's still going to find Kaguya and Holo but going back to the Elemental Nations?

" _Hey, Ruby?_ " Ruby looked at Naruto with a raised eyebrow when she heard his tone, it sounded sad... contemplative even. She just gave a shrug and put him down.

" _Sure, hey."_ Naruto looked up at her with a tilted head " _You okay?"_ Naruto didn't answer but just gave her a nod. At this point Coco was already leading Weiss and Blake towards the woman, who had now noticed them and is looking at Coco with a much too sweet smile that made Ruby raise a brow in question, I mean someone only ever smile that way towards someone if they're in biiiig trouble.

Naruto moved over to the tree that stood just beside the house and sat underneath it. If he wasn't having flashbacks of the Elemental Nations before now he is, the tree whose shade he is under is a Cherry blossom tree. He closed his eyes and went to La la land.

While Naruto is laying under the shade of the cherry blossom tree we now go to Coco and Weiss "Hey there Ms. Asama... good day to, uh, sweep?"

"My, if it isn't the House wrecker, come to wreck my home again do you?" the now named Ms. Asama asked in sweet tone with a hand on her cheek.

Coco sweatdropped "Come on that was nine months ago!"

"Yes it was nine months since then and back then you didn't even clean up the mess you made." a hannya mask appeared behind her scaring the hell out of everyone present.

"What the hell are you talki-"

"Ms. Velvet was actually the one that cleaned everything up."

"O-Oh, look it doesn't matter there's someone that actually wants to complain about something."

The hannya mask disappeared, much to everyone's relief, and a look of concern formed over Ms. Asama's face. A complaint? That's strange, over the time she's been dorm mother there's never been a complaint "And what exactly is the problem?"

Weiss cleared her throat and stepped forward "I'm the one putting the complaint forward Ms. Asama" she presented the camera they found to the dorm mother and she understood the implication of it.

"I believe you have already asked House wrecker-san (Coco: Hey~) if the dorms rooms have camera's installed in them, correct?" Weiss nodded since Coco did tell them that much. She guessed who even had the audacity to do such an act on her watch and she already has an idea on who has enough balls to do just that.

Just as Ms Asama was about to open her mouth the door they came through slammed open "NOOOOOoooooo..." Everyone looked at Ozpin with raised eyebrows, everyone except Ms. Asama who had the hannya mask appear behind her shoulder once again but this she had this foreboding aura around her form and is holding a simple katana with a wooden scabbard, it has no guard with handle being also made out of wood.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here pervert-san." Ozpin gulped he was too late, what made him think that planting a hidden camera om the dorms was a good idea? The woman was way more scarier than Glynda could ever hope to be since with Glynda the worst you'll get is a full-body cast but with Miya Asama? The last time someone broke her rules, specifically the 'illicit sexual behavior' one, they- * _shudder*_ he doesn't even want to remember what happened to that poor sap.

"Now, now Miya lets put down the sword okay..."

It was this scene that Naruto woke up to, Old man Ozzy slowly backing away from the pretty purple haired lady and the pretty purple haired lady slowly pulling out her katana with Team RWBYZ and Coco all behind him and using him as a shield "Use your cuteness and protect us O' Fluffy One!" Coco shouted while holding him up towards the two adults.

Funny thing with dogs by the way, dogs are pack animals and because they are pack animals they tend to find their 'alpha'. And since Naruto is a male dog he's most likely to try and find an 'alpha female' but he already has an alpha female which is Ruby. Keep in mind though that Naruto stays with Ruby not because she is 'Alpha' but rather because cares quite deeply about her but there will be time when his animal instincts take over and he is at his most vulnerable to his doggy instincts when he only just wakes up. So guess who is has the most dominating presence right now and is Naruto's 'Alpha' at least until he regains control of himself.

" _She looks so hot right now._ " Ruby heard what Naruto said and looked at Ms. Asama. She looked her over and gave her 4/10 cookies much better than Blakes 1/10 cookies and Weiss 10/10 charcoal.

She did feel a bit annoyed at Naruto's comment on the dorm mother but knew that this was a temporary thing ' _Always happened when mom was around after all._ '

* * *

With the Immortal Trio, Kaguya and Salem were sitting on top of Holo who they tied up when she heard what Naruto said in his mind "NO WAY AM I GONNA LET AN OLD HAG GET HIM, LET ME GO YOU CRO-" Salem slammed an apple into her mouth shutting her up.

Kaguya gave Salem a nod which the woman just waved away. The two had tinge of pink on their cheeks when they heard what Naruto said, though Salem was really just blushing at the absurdity of it all. Her eyes then widened when a thought entered her head, it's the kind of thought that would float around that perverted she-wolf's head but she felt the need to ask Kaguya what she just thought.

"Kaguya."

"Yes?"

"You have had children already, haven't you?"

Kaguya looked at Salem wondering where she was going with this "Yes..."

Salem took a deep breath and looked at Kaguya in the eyes "Then..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Then?"

"Then wouldn't that make you a MILF?"

SMACK!

* * *

 **AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD DONE!**

 **Man this thing was very irritating to write, especially Kaguya's part since I was unsure as to whether or not to put it in but then again this is only Kaguya's reason for being friendly with Naruto, some insight into _her_ past, why she's even friendly to Naruto in the first place and how far she's willing to go to protect him. We've yet to hear about Holo's side of things.**

 **Sooo, you guys likey the character that made an appearance? I do hope I managed to write her dialogue correctly, if not then it's back to binge watching the series. As of the moment I'm still debating whether or not to make this a triple Xover with Sekirei or have only Miya be the one appearing from that show.**

 **BTW the next fic to get updated will either be ROAF or War for our future.**

 **I'm also working on a new fic and it'll be a triple Xover between Naruto, Highschool DxD and Gundam Seed/Seed Destiny. The fic is basically about Humanity's 'time' being up and Naruto being judge, jury and executioner will decide if humanity should perish or continue. Or something like that. It'll have a pairing of NaruxLacus don't know if there'll be someone added to that since I don't think Lacus would like that happening, if it does happen then I only see people she trusts or is close with as those that she'll allow to share Naruto with, like Cagalli or maybe Meyrin or Meer.**

 **Well like always, leave a review, fave or follow, this is Qrious. Signing out.**


	5. Chp 5 Port, Concerned, Hunt renewed?

**Hey guys Qrious here with another chapter.**

 **Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter compared to the other three but I ran out of idea's. And as will be tradition, I'm sorry if the humor is not up to par or if it is horrendous in any way. Please enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or RWBY.**

* * *

 _"That's it, I'm taking this to the Headmaster!"_

 _..._

 _"Dorm mother?"_

 _..._

 _"So basically you'll be forcing him into one of your master-servant fetishes?"_

 _..._

 _"My, if it isn't the House wrecker, come to wreck my home again do you?"_

 _..._

 _"Then wouldn't that make you a MILF?"_

* * *

"Monsters! Demons... Prowlers of the night. Yes, the creatures of Grimm have many names." a portly man stated in front of a class, the Team RWBYZ is also in. Though most of them weren't really listening to the professors lecture since they were all trying to get their minds off of what happened earlier. The whole team shuddered, they could still hear the sounds of Ozpin's girlish shrieks of terror at Miya's hands. They all did their own thing to forget the incident, Blake's is to uncharacteristically find comfort in Naruto's warm, soft fur, Yangs' is to burn holes in Blake's head with a glare. Weiss' took notes of the lecture, Ruby is being Ruby and Naruto is very comfortable where he is.

"But I, merely refer to them as prey. Hu-hah, haha!" his joke was met with silence, even the author didn't get the joke if it even was one.

Though it did wake up Ruby from her little nap " _Had a nice dream sleepy head?_ "

She stuck her tongue out at Naruto.

Peter sweardropped "Uhh, and you shall too, upon graduating from this prestigious academy. Now as I was saying, blah blah-blah, blah blah..."

Naruto and Ruby paid no attention to the portly man's lecture and were talking through the link. Mind link conversation for the win!

" _So, what are you gonna do after class?"_

Ruby mentally shrugged " _I dunno, what about you?_ "

Naruto looked at Ruby dryly " _Ruby, I'm a dog, in an academy filled with people that have blunt weapons or weapons with pointy edges. The only thing I can really do is chase my tail, lick my balls, hang with Blake or find that rabbit that's hiding in Beacon._ "

Ruby made a face at the 'lick my balls' part " _Eww, did not need to know that!_ "

" _Well, you asked._ "

As they kept talking they noticed the professor wink at Yang and that made the three of them go green at the face, Naruto though made plans for pranking the professor.

" _I know he didn't mean anything by it but I'm so pranking his ass... or I'll just dump his ass in Glynda's room._ "

" _Why not the dorm mothers room?_ "

Naruto blinked and a mischievous smile formed on his face, mentally of course " _Why not dump him in the springs when the two take their bath?_ "

Ruby hummed in thought, Ms. Asama did say that there was an indoor hot spring in the dorm " _Okay but you better not do it when I'm in there."_

Naruto scoffed _"Like I'd do that"'Besides, you're mine.'_ Woah! Woah woah woah whoa! Time out! Ruby is not 'his' in property sort-of-way, she is his awesome owner/friend/teammate/leader/ice cream buddy/family member! She is Summer's daughter, the person that found him on that faithful day he ended up in Remnant and someone he promised to look after! And that includes protecting her from any and all danger including boys! Any boy that would dare even want to think about talking to sweet, huggable, kissable Ruby would have to undergo a 913,472,432,543,532,424-

While Naruto is having his... troubles Professor Port continued with his lecture with Weiss taking lectures of some of the things he said, she heard scribbling from Ruby's paper, at first she nodded in contentment, happy that her teammate was taking class seriously bu then she heard giggling. When Professor Port said something about cabbages Ruby showed her drawing to Yang and Weiss, Yang predictably tried to keep her laughter in and Weiss while amused at the drawing was growing irritated at her teammate, there is a time for jokes later but now is the time to listen, even if it is boring.

The professor clearing his throat got the three's attention, Blake was still trying to find her happy place "In the end blah blah blah. Blah blah, no match blah blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah-blah. Celebrated as a hero." Prof Port bowed "The moral of the story? A true huntsman must be honorable." At that she looked at her team's leader and was at a loss at what she was supposed to feel.

"A true huntsman must be dependable." Zwei is looking around the room with his tongue out.

"A true huntsman must be strategic..." Zwei is holding a chessboard with a monocle on his left eye making Weiss raise an eyebrow.

"Well educated..." Zwei is wearing a teacher costume.

"And wise!" Zwei turned into a boy- wait what!? Weiss shook her head and looked back at Blake and saw Zwei in her arms. Weird, she swore she just saw a young man with blond hair and blue eyes a few seconds ago.

"So, who among you believes themselves to be the embodiment of these traits?"

In another world Weiss would've raised her hand to the question but right now she thinking that if she's gonna follow a dog then it might as well be a dog that can fight. She plucked Naruto from Blake earning a 'Hey!' from the girl and threw Zwei at the professor earning her a glare from Yang.

Naruto's body smacked against Prof Port's face with a sqeak "Oh, do you believe yourself to be so?"

"Bark!"

"I see." Prof Port his mustache while the other student's were wondering if he really did understand what the dog is saying.

"Bark!"

"Hohoho, good words lad! True, true, there will be time when you are in battle that you will be without a weapon. Haha, observe students, you are in the presence of a true huntsman!" The students were all looking between Zwei and Prof Port while Weiss raised an eyebrow. If a professor himself thought that Ruby's pet dog is a good huntsman then she'll give Zwei a chance before she complains.

Prof Port cleared his throat and gathered the attention of the students before looking at Zwei "Now, to test if you do have what it takes to be a huntsman, a little test." He walked to the side towards a cage - ' _How did we not notice that!?'_ the students thought - that was shaking a little and has something growling inside of it.

"Goo Zweii!" Yang cheered out.

"Fight well!" Blake called out holding a small _RWBYZ_ flag.

"Yeah, represent team RWBYZ!" Ruby shouted holding a large banner with a picture of their team while Weiss held the other end of the banner while waving a #1 foam finger.

"Bark/ _Thanks guys!"_

 _"_ Alright." Prof Port pulled out a blunderbuss that has axe on the weapons' stock "Let the match, begin." As soon as he broke the lock the cage's door fell to the ground with a thud revealing the grimm inside it, a boarbatusk. It suddenly charged Zwei as soon as it saw him, while the pig grimm charged Zwei just stood there with his head tilted. When it was just a few feet from him some of the students began worrying for the dog while the Prof Port made himself ready in case he needed to step in.

Team RWBYZ had differing expressions. Yang, who was chewing on her nails is now chewing on Blake's nails since she ran out, Blake is deciding whether to smile or punch Yang in the face, Weiss was thinking if it was a good idea that she threw Ruby's pet dog when she could've just thrown Ruby instead while Ruby is now drawing on her papaer since she already knows what's going to happen. When the boarbatusk was mere few inches from his face Zwei reared his head back and slammed it against the boarbatusk's head and the result shocked the class. Zwei, a corgi that looked like he couldn't even hurt a fly, launched a boarbatusk straight through the wall behind Prof Port and into Beacon tower.

* _crash_ *

"MY COFFEE!"

Everyone in the room looked through the hole in the wall then back at Zwei who made himself at home on Ruby's lap.

 _RIIIIINNNNGGG._

* * *

Back with our favorite Immortal Trio, Kaguya is looking at the crystal ball with interest "Hmm, so his canine skull is hard enough to withstand a full charge by those grimm piggies?"

"Mmhpff!"

Kaguya looked at the person in front of her with a smirk "You brought this on yourself Salem~"

Underneath Kaguya, an irate Holo just woke up, she was having _very_ good dream that involved her and Naruto involving a lot of x-rated stuff and a maid costume "What's with all the muffled screaming!" she looked at her left and her eyes widened and her eyes glazed, her cheeks grew red and she started breathing like a perverted old man. Because just a few feet from the two is Salem tied up on a pole in a very compromising position with some of her naughty parts being accentuated by the rope, her voice came out as muffled speech due to the ball gag she is wearing.

"Mpmmhff!"

"Well maybe you shouldn't have called me by the m word."

"Mpphhmff!"

Kaguya looked at Salem dryly "Do you want me to sic Holo on you?"

"Hehehe, haah.. haah... must...haah.. molest~"

Salem frantically shook her head, anything was better than being touched by the perverted she-wolf! Only her future husband has the right to molest her!

* * *

After the bell rang everyone ran off to do their own thing since it's free period, Weiss for example is heading towards the library. In another world she would be telling Prof Port on how the headmaster possibly made a mistake in choosing their team leader but in this world she felt that Prof Port won't be able to even give her a good answer so she made way for the library.

"Bark!"

"Hmm?" Weiss looked behind her and saw Zwei looking at her.

"Shoo..." Zwei tilted his head.

"Go away..." He let his tongue out while panting.

Weiss sighed, she picked up Zwei and gave the dog a dry look "If you weren't such a cute a dog I'd kick you right now."

Zwei licked her hand, Weiss huffed and looked away with a bit of pink on her cheeks "Whatever, it's not like I care about what you think anyway." she walked towards the library with Zwei in tow.

Out of the door came Ruby who heard everything and she looked Weiss back with a raised eyebrow. More importantly though, why was she feeling irritated at Weiss right now?

* * *

With the Immortal Trio Kaguya was seething "How dare she... that- that brat!"

Meanwhile the now free Holo slowly stalked her way towards the distressed Salem who was trying in vain to get Kaguya's attention "Gehehe..." and Holo's pervy face and creepy hand movements did not help in any way.

* * *

At Beacon's library Naruto is sitting on top of a desk and having a staring contest with Weiss. While he was doing so he let his mind wander a bit ' _I wonder how those two are doing..._ ' to his two missing tenants.

* * *

When Kaguya heard that her eyes widened and a bit of pink appeared on her cheeks. And she not the only person to hear that because just as she was just about to touch Salem she paused and silently gasped. Salem also heard but she was just grateful that she may be able to hold on to her chastity a bit longer.

* * *

It has been a while after all since he saw them last. Eleven years, eleven long years he's been apart from the two of them. Truth be told, when he first came here he was quite scared, he wasn't scared because he was in a new world, he wasn't scared because he was no longer in the Elemental Nations, he wasn't even scared for himself... he was scared for his two tenants. Now he knew that the two were strong but the majority of their powers were still sealed up in him, this is an unknown place to them, what if there was someone much stronger than them, what if the inhabitants weren't friendly! Like those people in Atlas, those people are military types, and if there's one thing he most certainly knew about military types is that when something like the two them appeared, something that holds a lot of power they'll do either of these two things: destroy them or find a way to make it theirs. They don't deserve that, not after what they've already been through...

Ugh, great...now he's depressed. But he can't really help it, while he wouldn't admit it to the two of them he always enjoyed their presence, especially Holo's ( **Kaguya:** *looks at Holo*, **Holo:** *eyes overshadowed by hair*, **Salem:** *trying to get out of pole*) since her upbeat attitude was one of the only thing few things that kept things in his drearily long life interesting apart from Kaguya's weird mood swings.

He felt a hand on his head and looked up to see Weiss looking at him in concern "You okay there Zwei?"

...

Zwei gave her a sad whine, she didn't really know what to do right now since her family never really had any pets. There was that one time they had a cat but it ran away, from Winter of all people, pretty weird since Winter absolutely loved that cat. Maybe she'll let Ruby handle this "C'mon boy." she picked up the depressed Zwei and left for their dorm room.

* * *

Kaguya sighed, while she never doubted that Naruto was looking for her- er, them, it waas nice to hear it from him. She looked at the person that had special mention from the man they care about and was treated to a curious sight.

Holo was standing eerily still and she could hear her muttering something, Salem however was unconscious and had foam seeping out of the ball gag. Curious as to what Holo was saying that could make Salem faint she got closer to Holo... and boy were the things she was saying faint worthy "- strap him to a bed and ride him so hard he'll be begging for me to stop." were just some of the more cleaner things she was saying.

Oh boy, looks like she'll have to tie her up... again.

* * *

"Hey Rubes, ya know where Zwei is?"

"He's with Weiss." Ruby answered distractedly, her mind somewhere else at the moment. Why was she distracted you ask? Well it has something to do with the one Yang is asking about, particularly that feeling she felt earlier when she saw Weiss walking away with Naruto. She had no real reason to feel irritated, as a matter of fact why WAS she irritated in the first place? Naruto's been with her since she was a baby, and if her dad was to be believed he's been with the family even before her father married her mother. So why did she feel that way earlier.

She was cut off from her musings when the door opened and in came a concerned Weiss with what was looking to be a depressed Naruto. She was immediately in front of Weiss and asked "What's wrong?" her voice laced with worry.

Weiss shook her head "I don't know, we were at the library he was reading a book on noodles and the next thing I know he's like that."

Ruby gently took Naruto from Weiss' arms and took him to her bed "Hey,you okay?"

While the rest of the room only heard a whimper from Naruto, Ruby heard differently thanks to their mind link " _I'm fine, just... just remembering some people."_

Ruby tilted her head and scratched his ears " _You mean those two people you got separated from?"_ "

He nodded, he stood up and stretched " _I'm gonna go and get some air, be back later._ "

And he was out the door, never even giving Ruby a chance to respond. Yang, who was being ignored by the three, noticed that the atmosphere seemed a bit gloomy so she did what she does best, eliminate gloominess. She took out a deck of cards, whistled to get their attention, professionally shuffled the deck of card and said "Anybody up for strip poker?"

"You pervert!"

"Merh, sure."

"Ruby!"

...

With Naruto he was running through the dormitory hallways, he was going to Miya's place, particularly the cherry blossom tree and take a nap under it. He was running so fast that he didn't notice there was a person in front of him as he crashed into the person's leg. A bit disoriented from the crash he shook his head to clear it.

"Oh, didn't see you there." said a clearly timid female voice. He looked up and froze, the person in question has long brown hair with her eyes being the same color as her hair, she is wearing the female Beacon uniform. All in all she was quite a looker but that's not the reason why he froze... no.

The reason why he froze were the two long brown bunny ears on her head. As he stood, or sat, still the girl bent down and scratched him behind the ear.

"Oh you're just a cute thing aren't you?"

Naruto tilted his head, eyes glazed over, his body entering a mode we all know that make go " _Hunt?_ "

* * *

Omake: Dog Therapy

 _Patient : Emerald Sustrai_

 _Occupation: Sexy thief_

 _Problem: Can't find wallet to snatch_

"THE HELL!? I DIDN'T WRITE THIS!" yelled Emerald pointing to the 'sexy' part on her occupation.

"Bark." barked Zwei while shrugging at the same time.

"What do yo- urgh, whatever let's just get this over with." grumbled Emerald crossing her arms.

Zwei nodded and put on a pair a pair of glasses getting a raised eyebrow from the patient "Why the glasses?"

"Bark!"

Emerald made an 'o' and nodded her head "It does make you look more professional."

Zwei looked smug at that.

Emerald stood up "Well, this was a waste of time. If you see Merc, pee on his shoe's for me will you."

Zwei gave Emerald the canine equivalent of flipping someone off while Emerald stuck her tongue out and exited the room with a smirk.

Zwei got off the chair and went up to the desk behind his chair and opened one of the drawers and his eyes widened when he noticed something missing: his wallet. He bolted out the door barking like a mad dog chasing after Emerald.

Someone call the police!

* * *

Omake #2

N. Zwei meets Zwei

" _The hell?_ " wondered Naruto, he was just having a nice dream about ramen when suddenly he appeared in this headache inducing field of colors.

" _Where am I?_ " he then tensed when a bright light appeared in front of him. When the light eased up he was surprised at what he found: himself!

Both Zwei's looked at each other, the one on the right is our Zwei, he will be called N. Zwei the one on the left is the other Zwei which he will be called Zwei.

After a minute Zwei broke the silence " _Soo... how about that Bellabooty?_ "

N. Zwei grinned " _Boy I sleep with the Bellabooty._ "

Zwei whistled " _Daaamn_ "

* * *

 **AAAAANNNNDDDD DONE!**

 **Aside for another chapter of one of the fics that i'll be hopefully releasing tomorrow this'll be the last you'll be hearing from me for about three months. Not to worry though since I'll still be working on the fics during these three months, just not as often as before.**

 **And also please take a look at the recently released Last Lights, it's the Triple Xover i mentioned to you guys before. Chapter one is slated for an immediate rewrite because I am a bit iffy as to how it started and if going three way Xover is a good idea so if any of you guys do read it please tell me what you think about it. Like -**

 **\- should it remain a triple Xover?**

 **\- should it be just Naruto and gundam seed with characters from other series crossing over?**

 **\- what kind of pairing it should be?**

 **That kind of stuff.**

 **Well as always, leave a review, fave or follow. This is Qrious, signing out for at least three months**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 Rabbit + Dog= Screaming Cat= Broken stuff**

 **Hello everyone! This is Qrious with a new chapter of NaruZwei!**

 **Finally, after eight or so months of no updates, one rewrite and a few minutes spent proofreading it's finally here.**

 **So, we left off the last chapter with Naruto coming across the V of Team CFVY so this'll pick up on that. Hmm what else is there to say... I think that's it.**

 **Anyway that's all, I hope you enjoy reading this new chapter and sorry if the humour is punch worthy.**

* * *

" _So, what are you gonna do after class?"_

 _..._

 _"Oh, do you believe yourself to be so?"_

 _"Bark!"_

 _..._

 _"Do you want me to sic Holo on you?"_

 _"Hehehe, haah.. haah... must...haah.. molest~"_

 _..._

 _"Anybody up for strip poker?"_

 _"You pervert!"_

 _"Merh, sure."_

 _"Ruby!"_

* * *

Blake can't believe she is worrying about this right now.

Pacing around her teams room with two sets of eyes watching her in amusement, Blake kept glancing back and forth at the clock and the door waiting for their team pet/ team leader to get back. It's been a few hours since they've finished their game of strip poker, a session that Weiss was sure they were cheating at, and Zwei has yet to come back. It's now 9:30 in the evening and curfew starts in 30 minutes and she was getting worried. Her! Getting worried! For a dog!

Getting irritated at the disguised Faunus' pacing Weiss said "Can you please stop that! It's very annoying!"

"You're just angry because you lost at strip poker." Yang teased.

Weiss face grew red in both anger and embarrassment and pointed her finger at the three of them "Shut up! I still think the three of you cheated! I mean how else would you keep getting _Straights,_ _Flushes AND ROYAL FLUSHES FIVE TIMES IN A ROW_!?" Which is true, getting a _Straight_ or a _Flush_ is hard enough but continuously getting them, and in Ruby's case a _Royal Flush_ , multiple times is very fishy, smells of cheating and ends in with an angry naked Weiss.

"Still, carpet really does match the dra- OWW!" Yang held sides in pain when Weiss poked her with Myrtenaster.

"Finish that sentence and I'll freeze you."

Yang smirked "So cold." cue a string of curses from the red faced heiress.

Ruby shook her head at her sister then looked at Blake who was seconds away from bolting "C'mon Blake stop being such a worrywart, if anything that's my role."

"Then why aren't you doing what I'm doing?"

"Because there's no reason for me to do what you're doing that you want me to do."

"But you should be doing what I'm doing that I'm making you do because that's exactly what you should do."

"Why should I do what you're doing that you're making me do even though it's exactly what I should do when there no reason for me to do?"

"Be-Becau-Agghh, forget it. I'm gonna go look for him." Blake shouted and stomped out of the room to search for Zwei.

Ruby stared at the door in wonder "I still don't get why she's soooo... uh..."

"You mean why she sort of acting like a girlfriend would to her boyfriend?" Yang helped Ruby out which got her a snicker from the young Rose.

"Pffft, yeah right, Blake is deathly afraid of Zwei. And you know that's just weird right?" actually what Yang would make sense if, and that's a very big if, Blake knows that Zwei/Naruto can morph between human and animal. If not then maybe Blake is into bestiality.

"And besides we both know that Zwei would come back before curfew." Ruby said confidently... maybe not too confidently because she has a feeling that Naruto might wander around the dorm. And knowing him he might end getting picked up by someone and end being 'adopted' by them like last time which ended with them fighting someone in a courtroom for his ownership... okay now she is getting worried "On second thought you guys, maybe I'll go with Blake and see where Zwei is." Ruby shot out of the door leaving rose petals scattered all over the room.

Weiss stared at the pile of petals on the floor and looked to the elder sister and said "I'm not cleaning that up." to which Yang shrugged off.

* * *

"Hey Blake wait up!" Blake looked behind to see Ruby barreling towards her... isn't she supposed to STO-!

"OWW!/DAMNIT RUBY!"

 _One untangled mess later_

"Sorry about that Blake, I was trying to catch up with you. I didn't know you were so fast though! You managed to get from the eight floor to the entrance in less than a minute."

Blake was about to comment when she processed what Ruby said. Blinking she looked around and saw that they were currently at the dorm's entrance "I... didn't even notice."

"Well look who I found." a familiar voice called out from the entrance.

"Oh Coco, nice to see- what happened with you?" Blake wondered the same thing. Said girl looked a little worse for the wear, her uniform looked like it went through the wringer with all the dirt and holes on it, her glasses is missing a lens and her beret looked like it got chewed by an Ursa.

"Dr. Oobleck happened." Ruby and Blake motioned her to continue "Well it all happened during class..."

* * *

 ** _Flashback to Ooblecks class_**

 _"... I was minding my own business and trying to be an exemplary student-"_

 _"You were looking at a clothing catalog?"_

 _"... How'd you know?"_

 _"I feel your pain sister."_

 _"Huh?"_

 _"Can we please go back to the story?"_

 _"Oh sorry, now where was I? Oh yes..."_

"... -that's why to this day, coffee sells more than tea."

A student raised their hand "Yes my little caterpillar?"

"Umm, profe-" "DR, Dr. Oobleck my dear caterpillar."

"Suuure, um Dr. Oobleck sir, I thought we were going to have a lesson on The Great War?"

Oobleck looked at the student and at the numerous papers he put on the board"What * _sip*_ do you mean? I AM discussing the Great War."

"Like people even gave a damn about glorified mud water back then." Cardin muttered.

...

...

...

"Huh, why is everyone so quite? And why are you all staring at me?"

True to his words everyone in the room is deadly silent and looking at Cardin with wide eyes. The older Beacon students could only lament and pray for Cardin as they failed to remind the new students of Beacon's Four Golden Rules.

 _Rule 1:_ _Thee wilt not ang'r the Goodwitch lest the lady becometh a real bitch._

 _Rule 2: Toucheth not Ozpin's mug, thou shall live longer._

 _Rule 3: Doth not interrupt Bartholomew's Story Time._

And finally _Rule 4:_ _Doth not speaketh ill of coffee in front of Dr. Oobleck._

* * *

"... and we had to hold off the rampaging professor-" "DR!" "- _*blink*_ I mean doctor while kicking the hell out of that idiot."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"Well, were the kicks really necessary? I mean it is you guys' fault since you never told us those rules."

Coco scoffed "He was harassing my teammate earlier so those kicks were well deserved."

In that case, Ruby and Blake wished she gave him hell.

"Kicked him in the nuts too."

Ruby made a face when she heard that tidbit, in no way is she feeling sorry for Cardin but it did make remember back when she kicked Naruto in the groin. Accidentally though, don't belive what Naruto says, it was an accidental kick and nothing more. She wouldn't kick him just for eating her cookie. No way.

"You should've kicked it more."

Ruby and Coco looked at Blake with raised eyebrows "Yikes, remind me not to get on your bad side." Ruby nodded.

Blake shrugged, she then remembered what she was supposed to be doing before getting side tracked by Coco "Hey Coco, do you-" "AAAAAAAHHHH!"

"What the-!?"

"Are we under attack!?"

"At least it's a girl this time."

While Ruby and Blake were looking around wondering where the scream came from Coco couldn't help but notice that the screamer's voice seemed familiar "That sounds like- Oh no, Velvet!"

Coco took off running towards the stairs leaving a surprised Ruby and Blake "Wha- Coco, wait up!" the two followed their upperclassman up the stairs with Ruby running beside the leader of Team CFVY in seconds with Blake not far behind.

"You know who that is?"

Coco nodded "Yeah, I'd know that voice anywhere."

From behind them Blake shouted "Shouldn't we get the dorm mother?"

Coco shook her head "No need, she's probably there already."

* * *

While all of that is going on let us go back to our _femme trois,_ two of whom are locked in a 'heated' debate. Kaguya and Salem are sitting in a rather large room within a large crystal castle inside Salem's domain. Originally just a few rooms built on the inside of cliff it later became a castle in an attempt to stop Kaguya's grouching. But as seen right now, it didn't.

"All I'm saying is that while our current living accommodations are acceptable they could be a little better."

Salem rolled her eyes "Need I remind you we are living in a castle? A CRYSTAL castle?" not to mention she asked (read: ordered) said castle to be built just a few hours ago. Using HER Grimm as labour no less.

Kaguya made a 'so-so' gesture with hand "Yes yes, a crystal castle is grand and all but a castle with no servants is no castle."

Salem deadpanned at Kaguya as said Bunny Goddess took a glass of what she guess is carrot juice from the tray on top of a Beowolf's head that is sitting at her side. Did she mention that Kaguya is also using HER GRIMM for servant stuff? Find your own pets of mass destruction you damned Bunny Goddess.

Kaguya noticed her gaze and released an unladylike snort "Please, I don't even consider them proper servants, they can barely clean, they almost ripped off my kimono when I asked to have them washed and when ask for a meal they always bring me a dead animal, I mean they could atleast cook it a bit. Though they do make delectable carrot juice."

While feeling insulted at how disrespectful she is towards her Grimm for unable to do menial housechores -what did she expect from creatures bred to destroy mankind?- she took the carrot juice as a small victory for her Grimm.

Putting down her glass of carrot juice, Kaguya put a hand on her chin as she felt something not quite right. Noticing this Salem asked her what was wrong to which she replied "I just feel like we're forgetting something."

"Huh?"

"I mean don't you think something is missing."

Salem thought about the question but nothing really comes to mind.

 _Fifty miles away from Vale_

Well that something just so happens to be Holo who sort of somehow managed to escape from the two immortals during the construction last night. While she managed to escape from Kaguya and Salem she somehow failed to get out of her bindings and the pole she was bound to. To which Kaguya wrapped her in again. After threatening to mouth rape her.

Now some would ask 'How would someone tied up manage to escape two powerful beings, managed to get across the ocean and whatever terrain is between Salem's domain and Sanus all in just a few hours?' I don't know the answer but one thing's for sure, nothing can gets in between Holo and blond stud.

"Just wait for me Narustud, Holo's coming."

How long until Kaguya and Salem notices her is anyone's guess but she'll have more time than people think because she escaped from them prepared.

* * *

 _Back to Beacon Academy_

 _Minutes before the scream_

Within Maison Izumo's walls, in the kitchen to be specific, the dorm mother Miya is making herself dinner. Using a large pot. Now why would she need such a huge pot when she's the only person in the inn? Well on some occasions the students, Coco's team and a few third and fourth years, drop by and she'd often make everyone dinner if they were visiting during dinner time.

AS she cooked her thoughts went to the group of first years Coco brought to her earlier. It was a rather... unique team to say the least. Unlike the conventional four man team this one, Team RWBYZ she recalled the name, is made up of five members with one of them being a dog. Normally this'd be no problem but said dog is the team's leader. She wondered if Ozpin has finally lost it, it was only a matter of time with how much coffee, tea and hot chocolate the man consumes in a day.

Speaking of said dog, Miya couldn't help but feel that something wasn't quite right with it. Not the 'Oh my god it's gonna bite my face off' wrong but rather the 'there's more to this dog than meets eye, and paws' kind of wrong. And unless Ozpin really has lost his marbles then that may be the reason why he put a dog in charge of a team.

Getting a spoon she took a taste of her cooking then nodded in satisfaction. She then looked at the clock on the wall behind her ad wondered what was taking her guests so long.

"AAAAAAAAHH!"

Oh, maybe that's why.

As fast as she can, she ran straight for the door, while making sure to grab her ladle, and went straight for the source of the scream. She made sure to double time it there as well since that scream wasn't a normal scream, nope that scream was a 'I'm being perved on' type of scream which is why she grabbed her ladle instead of a sword.

Ah ladles, the leading technology in beating up people in all sorts of situations.

Feeling that she's getting near the source of the scream, if the sounds of 'no' and 'not there' were any indication, she readied ladle equipped hand to bring pain upon the poor idiot who dared to do something perverted in her dorm.

That until she saw what the perverted situation looked like.

"No-hahaha, st-stop it."

Said perverted situation was actually just the canine leader of Team RWBYZ playing with Coco's teammate Velvet Scarletina.

"M-haha- Ms. M-Miya, he-hahae-lp!"

"Eh?"

"I-I haha, can't get him off!"

Can't get him off? Well, now that she's gotten a close look it does seem like Velvet is trying to pull Zwei off of her. Actually even Zwei himself doesn't look quite right.

"Dorm lady!"

Hearing that annoying name Coco bestowed upon she turned around to find said girl along with the two of the girls she brought earlier running towards her.

"Dorm lady, I heard Velvet scream have you see-what is happening there?"

Blinking at the sight of her teammate and Ruby and Blake's team leader playin "Hahah-h-hel-hahha!"

She breaks out a sigh of relief she relaxes when her teammate wasn't in danger after all.

Though the same couldn't be said for the other four people in the room. Velvet of course was under attack by Zwei's toungue, Miya was still watching Zwei feeling that something wasn't quite right, Blake was having another one of her wild fantasies and Ruby...

She was slowly, quietly making her way towards Zwei and Velvet while cursing the fact there's a rabbit Faunus in Beacon "Psst, Velvet."

Said rabbit faunus whimpered as she looked at Ruby.

"Try not to move to much." she shout whispered to the rabbit faunus.

Velvet complied, doing her best to not move too much. Though it was a bit hard with how Zwei was now trying to get into her clothes, an action that made Ruby angry beyond Yang Standards. She tried to squash the feeling of swinging Crescent Rose at him because of Velvet but if she wasn't there...

And Naruto " _Gehehehe..._ " he has fallen to the path of the pervert which is not the first time that happened, luckily for Velvet this is only temporary. If everytime he see's a cat or cat faunus he goes into 'Hunt' mode where he'd either maul or hump the cat, well the same applies for rabbit faunus only when it comes to them he acts like a dog on weed. A happy dog on weed. That goes pervy on rabbit faunus.

In the middle of her journey Holo felt that she missed out on some very valuable intel.

Blake on the other hand is hiding behind Coco when she saw Ruby get mad. By no means was she afraid of Ruby, nope, she was more afraid of her scythe that she'll start swinging all over the place if Ruby suddenly brings it out.

"This is a weirdly tense situation, don't you think dorm mother?"

"..."

"Dorm mother?" Coco looked at where Miya was only to find no one.

"Where'd she go?" Blake asked wondering where the purple haired dorm mother went.

Coco shrugged "I don't know, dorm lady Miya's weird like that."

"You mean she suddenly disappears?"

"Not exactly."

"AAH! Don't pull too hard he has a grip on my clothes."

Back to the situation at hand Ruby has finally managed to grab hold of Zwei, unfortunately though as he was about to get plucked he made sure to grab Velvet's clothes with both his teeth and paws. And what a tight grip it was.

"Just... let go... idiot."

* _rip_ *

"EEP!"

Ruby groaned. When this is all over she'll be demanding a cookiethon from Naruto, she does deserve it for all the craziness he's been doing.

' _Damnit, I can't pull too much or else I'll rip off Velvet's clothes but if I don't get him off he'll keep tongue molesting Velvet. Think Ruby, think.'_

A light bulb lit up in Ruby's mind as she thought of something and she groaned in annoyance because she can't believe that's the best plan she could think of right now.

"Blake!"

Hearing her name the disguised cat faunus looked to the young Rose wondering why she called her.

"Bring out your legs!"

"Huh!?/ Woah."

Ruby groaned as she slightly pulled Zwei when she felt him try to get away from her grip "Leg. Zwei hump. NOW!"

Blake was about to shout out her disagreement when she suddenly found her face meeting with the floor with Coco straddling her back while getting a hold of her legs "If letting him ride your leg is what it takes to get your team leader off of Velvet then so be it."

* _whistle!_ *

"Hraw?"unclasping his teeth from Velvets clothes when he heard someone whistle.

' _WHISTLE!'_

His eyes changed targets immediately after hearing the whistle, transferring from Velvet to Blake's leg.

He knows that leg, it's HIS leg after all. He was about to go zooming towards the leg but then he remembered about Velvet.

Said rabbit Faunus was about to make her escape when she noticed Zwei once again look at her. Nobody moved in the hallway moved, even Ruby, apart from Zwei's head which was looking back and forth between Velvet and Blake's leg.

' _Sexy rabbit or sexy leg, decisions,_ _decisions...'_ is what is going on in Naruto's doggy brain right now.

He went for the obvious.

And Blake screamed. Or moaned.

* * *

 _Ozpin's Office_

Ozpin's office is situated on the very top of Beacon tower. The office itself is quite large with large gears above and below that kepp making ticking sounds that might drive someone mad. But not if you're Ozpin. Did I mention Ozpin loves his mug?

Well right now said mug is in the hands of Miya, who remembered that Ozpin still hasn't been properly punished decided to punish Ozpin by threatening to cut it up with her sword.

And Ozpin?

"N-Now, now Ms. Asama l-l-let's all just c-calm down and not do anything rash." the headmaster is currently tied into a chair while being forced to watch the inhumane act.

"Oooh, if anything this is a proper punishment for putting a camera in _my_ dorm without _my_ permission."

Ozpin paled, she's still angry about that!? "I-I-It won't happen again but please don't hurt my precious!"

Now Miya isn't really serious with breaking Ozpin's mug. She knows said mug has sentimental value to Ozpin since he's had it ever since he was a student at Beacon himself. But she needed him to understand that he can't do whatever he wants in her dorm without her say so.

After a few tense, for Ozpin, minutes Miya lowers her sword which earned a sigh of relief from the grey haired headmaster. Miya picked up his mug and held it towards him.

"All right, but this better not happen nex-"

"KYAAAAAA!"

* _clink, crash! whatever sound glass makes when it breaks*_

Miya looked at her hand with wide eyes. Ozpin looked like someone broke his mug. Well that's because it did. What was once a mug in Miya's hand is reduced to handle, the rest of it is on the floor. In pieces. Like Ozpin's world.

"Umm..."

"..."

Miya awkwardly looked at the handle piece in her hand and Ozpin. She slowly put the handle on top of his desk then with quick steps walked towards the elevator and back to Maison Izumo where she'll try and forget what just happened.

...

...

...

...

...

...

"My

* * *

 **AAAAAAAANNND that's it!**

 **Don't have much to say except poor mug, we will never forget you. *gives manly salute***

 **Well hope you guys liked this chapter please fave, follow or leave a review.**

 **This is Qrious, signing out.**


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